Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies
by Ninja Stealth Noise
Summary: 20 year old Scarlett Harker is not your average rich girl. She's sick of suitors and limits. She's being suffocated and she wants out. Where does she go? Everyone's favorite rusty tramp steamer, of course.
1. The Beginning

Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter One: Boycott Immorality

"Scarlett!"

Ugh. _What the hell do you want, mother?_

"Yes, mother?" _What could she possibly want with me, this early in the morning?_

I looked at the clock. 5:34. Nyeh. I raised my eyes to the window and squinted into the sunlight. Below my penthouse suite, people were either walking to work, or begging for money. They were lined up at the soup kitchens, or strutting into high-end restaurants.

"SCARLETT!" my mother screamed. I took that as my cue to get up. I untangled myself from the covers and stood. Stretching my arms high and closing my eyes, I yawned in a way that would drive my mother over the edge if she were there to see it. Shooting a glare over to the door behind which I knew my mother was waiting.

I opened the door and jumped at my mother's harpy-glare. I could practically feel it burrrrrn.

"Yes?" I said, hoping the reason I had had to wake up so early was not for breakfast with _another _one of the suitors my mother had _graciously_ handpicked. Apparently, at 20 years old, it was about time I got married and condemned myself to cooking and cleaning for some rich sleaze or a stuttering, adoring idiot.

"Scarlett, dear," she said. Uh oh. "Dear" is never a good sign, "I'm beginning to think you've forgotten about our outing with my dear suitor, Charles."

Oh yes. It is not enough to force me to marry, she has to get hitched at well. Ever since Father died, she's been desperate to find a man so she won't, in her mind, look like a sad widow. If she meant sad as in pathetic, she's failed miserably. I groaned good-naturedly so that she wouldn't be aware of my plot to kill her, and brushed past her toward the bathroom to get ready.

After emerging from the toilet fresh-faced, I had to cover my ears to shield them from the sound of my mother's "sweet nothings" on the phone, most probably directed at Charles. I stopped to look at her. We looked so different, her and I. I had obviously gotten my looks from my father, with my black, impossibly wavy hair and the pale skin which my mother prized. She herself was slightly tanner than I was, but she was still beautiful. Her shiny blonde hair was placed into a fussy chignon, and her eyes were blue.

They reminded me of water, my favorite element. I'd wished that I had her eyes ever since I was old enough to care. Mine were green and brown. Mostly a light, bright green, but with a brown line round the edge and little sepia-colored specks. They were pretty, I suppose, but they were the colors you saw every day. Trees were green, dirt was brown. My mother's eyes, you could say, were the color of the sky, but you'd be wrong. They were nothing like the sky, because of all the different blues. They were not like the sea either; the sea didn't hurt you eyes after looking at it too long. My mother's did, because they were so bright and sparkly. The only feature I had that I thought nicer than hers by far was my nose. It was proportionate to my face and straight, reminding my mother of a "Grecian statue". Hers was slightly small and made her look a bit kittenish. The one thing that I'd inherited from her was my lips. They were slightly pink and full, and men tended to stare at them. They were the one thing I had that was similar to my beautiful mother, and yet I sometimes cursed them.

She must have noticed me standing there in a bathrobe, looking off into space, because she cleared her throat very loudly, breaking me out of my reverie. I started, probably looking like a deer in headlights, and sped toward my room to get dressed.

It was a chilly September morning, so I picked out a long black skirt that ended inches below my knees. A white blouse was tucked into the skirt, and a long black wraparound trench coat was pulled over it. I buttoned up the coat cuffs which went all the way to the middle of my forearm, and slid on a pair of sheer pantyhose, tripping twice in the process. A strand of small white pearls and black shoes with a small heel completed the outfit. I nodded at the mirror and exited the room to find my mother waiting for Charles at the door.

_Sad…_

"Mother, when is he coming?" I asked. She jumped.

"Oh, at about 7:30," she replied, after sitting down in a cushy chintz armchair.

"Huh?" I asked, "So why did I have to get up at five thirty?" I looked at the clock. 6:00.

We had an hour and a half to do nothing.

"First of all, dear, you don't say 'huh'. It's so vulgar! And secondly, I thought…" she paused, as if silently convincing herself to go on, "I thought that...well…today we could try something with your hair…maybe put on a bit of make-up?"

_? Has she gone insane? Does she think aliens abducted me in my room and replaced me with a new daughter that acts just like her! _

She must have seen the incredulous look on my face, because her face dropped considerably. I felt a twinge of guilt in my stomach.

_No…must…not…surrender…must not say…_

"Alright. Do your worst." I said with a sigh of self-loathing. My mother's face lit up once more and, with strength I never knew she had, she ushered me into her bedroom and onto a seat facing her enormous vanity. And then came the Dreaded Words:

"So shall I go bright or dark?"

End Scene 1

In the next chappie, you'll meet Englehorn….dun dun dunnnn.


	2. This Fateful Meeting

Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 2: This Fateful Meeting

_Why, mother, why? Did it hurt when you gave birth to me, or do you find it fun to torture me!_

My demon-I mean, mother, was dragging me across the street toward a certain slimy, conceited Charles McDermott. He was leaning back in a chair against a window with the legend: "The Harbor Café" I thought three words:

_I hate him._

He thinks I don't know how he got so rich - selling marijuana and illegal guns, I saw him fill out an order form when my mother went to primp herself within an inch of her life – and he treats me like some random girl on the street.

Which was kinda wrong, seeing as he was a forty-year-old man that was dating my mother.

Seeing us, he smiled – well, more like leered – at us, this sick smile from which I half-expected cockroaches to crawl out of. My mother, in usual bubbly airhead manner, noticed nothing completely creepy and disturbing, and waved flirtatiously.

I was beginning to suspect that she might've thought she was the daughter and I the mother.

Ew. I mean, if I ever had kids, they would _never_ turn out like my mother. If they did, I'd jump of the new skyscraper they are building on Fifth Avenue.

"Hey toots," he said, daring me to gag, "Hello Anna."

I seriously cannot believe that my mother did not notice anything strange about his...wording.

"Hello Charles. What's that you've got there?" my mother asked, nodding over to the folder on the table in front of him.

"Oh, uh, just a screenplay I was looking over" he said, quickly stowing the folder out of sight. Aside from his drug and arms dealing, he was a movie producer. Anyone could tell he was in show business, from his greasy, slicked-back hair to his expensive cigarettes. But I shrewdly doubted that that was a screenplay.

Still, I wish I knew what Mother saw in him.

"What's it about?" I asked, hoping to leave him speechless.

"Uh…some Bruce Baxter film…" he said.

Damn.

The mention of Bruce Baxter caught my mother's interest.

"Oooh, do you think it'll be good?" she gushed, allowing his arm to snake around her waist.

"Eh, there ain't enough boobies," he said. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. My mother giggled. (AN: Hand-to-chin motion, pankeekii!)

After we ate, I was ready to barf. Charles was feeding my mother some raspberries, and I was trying not to chuck mine up. The raspberries, I mean. I needed some air…

"Wanna go for a walk?" Charles asked, causing me to let loose a noise that was half sigh-of-relief-, half gasp-of-horror. It sounded like this:

Haaaaaaaaaaaaahhuuuuhhh!

Unfortunately, I was in the process of swallowing some raspberries, and began to choke. Feeling my windpipe begin to close up, my eyes widened and I let out a spluttering cough.

Charles, fancying himself a hero of sorts, came up behind me and did the Heimlich. Which wasn't very pleasant, let me tell you. I half-expected my breakfast to come up with the raspberries I was choking on.

When it was all over, I wasn't sure what I hated more; raspberries, my tiny windpipe, or Charles. Whilst debating the matter in my head, I walked out behind my mother and her slime-I mean, suitor.

We decided to take a walk down to the docks. I was grateful, because the sea always calmed my nerves. The docks were so different from the Fifth Avenue scene I grew up in. There were sailors on boxes drinking bourbon and sleeping in fishnets with their hats tipped over their faces. The ships near the warehouses, mostly fishing boats or tramp steamers, were cast into the shade by the large passenger cruisers.

Mother and Charles were holding hands in front of me. Blech. I truly wish I knew what was so great about Charles. I found it confusing that she would date a man like him, but referred to the sailors on the docks, many of which seemed to be more clean cut than Charles, as "drunk ruffians".

Upon pondering this, I searched for a sailor that, if I ever dated, would make my mother absolutely furious. I saw:

A bearded, balding sailor breaking empty bottles over the wooden floor.

A redheaded sailor who seemed good-looking enough, but leered at me when he caught me staring.

A man in a dirty apron, smoking a cigar with one eye closed. Somehow not a great match for me.

A group of red-faced sailors protesting the Prohibition by chugging down whisky.

And then…

My eyes caught a man who, in all his subtlety, would drive my mother insane if ever she saw us exchange glances. He was tall and strong-looking, probably 6 feet tall from what I could guess. His captain hat covered his hair, but his five o'clock shadow told me that he was probably a brownish-blonde. He was slightly dirty, probably because he'd been on a voyage recently. His tall brown boots were scuffed, his white shirt seemed to be stained with coffee.

Ohhh, yes, he would have made my mother insanely angry. She hated any sailor that looked halfway respectable and hard-working, because it messed with her previous opinions and prejudices.

I wonder what opinions she had of slimy, greaseball drug dealers that treated women's daughters more suggestively than their own girlfriends.

As I continued to stare at the man in front of me, I surmised that the tramp steamer he was leaning against was his. I also surmised that he wasn't bad-looking.

Why hello there, el Capitan…

He seemed to have picked up my random and rather suggestive-sounding thought, because he suddenly looked straight in my direction. It was then that I got a good look at his eyes. They were even more blue than my mother's, and shifted color in the light. It was at this time that I noticed his eyebrow raise, as if daring me to come closer. Well, either that or he was confused as to why I was looking at him, a rich girl like me.

Which is what I got all the time, when I gave a quarter to a homeless person or if I offered some food to a little kid standing on a street corner.

_I hate being rich, _I thought as I looked away from el Capitan.

Yes, I decided to call him that, seeing as I didn't know his name.

After thinking that, I wondered if I ever would…

End Chapter 2


	3. The Escape

Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 3: The Escape

Big mistake.

Such a HUGE and STUPID mistake.

Who ever knew that walking into a kitchen could be so risky? Seriously, most people walk into their kitchens, and _they _don't get attacked by the mentally-scarring image of their mother making out with a sleazy creep.

Why me?

I mean, I've never done anything illegal or morally wrong(except maybe stamping on a frog, but that was ONCE!). Is being having a crazy mother a crime now?

Picture this. You walk into a room to get some cinnamon tea and BAM!

Old people exchanging saliva. I thought I was the one that was supposed to be running around with boys…

Instead my forty-year-old mother goes kissing random drug dealers while I remind her to pay the bills.

But that's not the worst of it. Not even close. As soon as my mother saw me having a minor coronary, she pried her lips from Charles's (how does she not get sick from the cigarette smell?) with a sound like a plunger.

"Um…hello, Scarlett…"she said, obviously out of breath, "I, uh, we, have some news for you."

She looked really happy…on the brink of insanity even. And that could only mean-

Why was Charles staring at me like that? He's starting to remind me of a sleazy, smoke-smelling jackal on the hunt.

"Well, dear," she said tentatively. Uh oh, Again with the 'dear'. "We're…getting.."

When I woke up, I could smell smelling salts, and I felt a hand clutching my own in a death grip. It was Charles. Apparently he thought that would be the fatherly thing to do, but fathers don't usually try to cut off their daughter's circulation. They also don't stare at you like a piece of meat.

_What am I even talking about? He's not my father! And he never will be…_

'Dear, did you…understand what I said earlier? We're getting-"

"MARRIED. I know." I snarled, anger pouring out of me for some reason unknown to my mother. Charles, sensing that it had something to do with him, left the room.

"Why, mother?" I said, trying hard to keep my voice from rising.

"Why what?" she asked, though it was obvious that she had an idea of what I was asking.

"Why do you think you _have_ to get married? Ever since Father died, you've been trying to get hitched, taking dates from people you've never met in your life." My voice was steadily rising now.

"I do not!" my mother said, sitting up now and walking towards the chair at the kitchen table. "I just want to keep my options open!"

"It's not 'keeping your options open' if you're dating random people sending desperate signals to the moon and back! If you gave yourself a choice, you wouldn't be with…with…HIM!" I heard myself scream the last word.

"And what is wrong with Charles? He has money-"

"So it's money you want?" I asked, struggling to calm myself down. "We have enough money! And we'd have more if you didn't keep buying things for these moochers that only date you for the gifts! You're pathetic." I regretted those last words.

My mother turned from her pensive pose, fixing me with shocked and hurt eyes.

"Scarlett, you'd better learn to respect me, because Charles will not stand any fresh talk."

"You think I care what I look like in _his_ eyes!" I raged, "He treats me like a friend you brought along from the Burlesque! You don't even notice! And do you even know where he gets half his money? HE SELLS DRUGS AND GUNS!"

The word 'guns' echoed through the penthouse. My mother looked like she'd been shot.

"It's very dangerous to make those accusations, Miss Scarlett Harker." She said, "If you want to be a part of this fam-"

"And what if I don't want to be a part of this family! What we had before was fine!" I cried. I ran down the hall into my room, slamming the oak door behind me.

I looked in the mirror. The make-up my mother had put on was still there. Black eyeliner, grayish shadow, a hint of rouge.

_I look like a poster girl…_

_Maybe, _I thought, _that's what she want me to be…_

But I wouldn't let her have that. I wouldn't do that to myself. I imagined myself at an upscale party, giggling airheadishly at a conceited comment one of Charles's friends had made. It was sickening, seeing my mother's approval, my empty expression. I was reminded instantly of a doll. Or a puppet, my strings held by my mother.

And right then, I decided to sever the strings.

Grabbing a large duffel bag, I stuffed in a weeks worth of clothes, some money, and a picture of my father, mother and me. I pulled off my heels and put on a pair of black loafers instead. The fire escape was at my window, conveniently. I pushed myself out the window, and climbed down the stairs. It was a long way down, and I tried not to faint.

I jumped from the last step, shook myself off, and started to run. I blinked sad and angry tears out of my eyes. The last thing I needed was for anyone to catch me with my guard down. I couldn't keep my thoughts out of my head…

_Would she miss me? _Yes. _Would she find a new daughter, like she found a new husband?_

Maybe. _Where will I go? _A slew of questions sailed through my head.

_Sailed…_

A boat! I turned around and headed down the road, tripping over a homeless woman as I ran.

_What if something goes wrong and I end up like her?_

I couldn't bear to think of it.

At last, I reached the docks. Panting, breathing in the briny air, I looked around. I noticed a problem. How would I get on a boat? Surely stowing away would be out of the question.

Argh! Seriously, wouldn't they cut off my hand or something?

I began to pace subconsciously, thinking of a way to escape. After a few minutes, I found myself walk right into a large…thing. The impact caused me to fall back, scraping my elbow. I looked up slowly.

El Capitan!

He looked at me blankly; obviously he expected me to get up myself.

"Ow," I muttered under my breath. I brushed myself off and rubbed my sore elbow.

"And you are?" El Capitan asked, staring down into my eyes.

"Uh…uh..well…"

Apparently my fall had damaged my articulateness. Unfortunately, articulation could have helped me in my situation.

"Well?" El Capitan seemed to be oblivious to my plight.

"Sc-Scarlett." I stuttered. Could I even trust this man?

"Well, Scarlett," at this point I realized his accent was German, "what might you be doing out here at a time like this?"

Cue ominous yet catchy classical music.

"Well…I, uh, need to get s-somewhere…" I could not believe I was telling a man I had never met (but admired from afar) anything about myself.

"Where? A girl like you could only be running away from her parents…"

TELEPATH!

"What do you mean, a girl like me?" I covered my mouth with my hands, astounded by the boldness of the only eloquent thing that had come out of my mouth since meeting El Capitan.

"A girl like you? You're young, and naïve-"

"Naïve?" I asked, slightly indignant, "How can you be so sure?"

"Not many clever people would hold a conversation with a complete stranger."

Got me there. Damn, el Capitan isn't just a blunt sailor. He's quite sharp.

"Well…what're _you _doing out here?" Good job, girl, question the intimidating man, who, if you haven't noticed, has a gun.

"I am waiting for something."

"What?" I caught a glance over el Capitan's broad shoulder and saw a few lights. People were getting onto a ship.

"A manifest, if you must know." El Capitan said, seeming to be incredulous to the fact that he was conversing with a random young girl.

"Huh?"

"Paperwork. Now if you excuse me, I need to go…"

As he turned to leave, I screwed my eyes shut and said, "Um, I was just wondering if you had….if you had any more room on your ship…"

El Capitan turned back around.

"I'm sorry; I don't take people on board unless they can pull their weight."

"I can pull my weight!" I said, a bit repulsed at how childish I sounded.

"Well it doesn't look like you'll be pulling much anyway…"

Infuriating…person…

"Please, sir, I won't be any trouble! I really need to get away, it's just that-"

"Al_right._" He said, obviously not interested in hearing my life story. He turned again, and this time I followed.

"Wait."

"_What_?" He was obviously getting vexed, but I just needed to know…

"What's your name? I've told you mine."

"You can call me Captain Englehorn."

Hmm…somehow the name fit.

We walked to the ship that people were entering. _They_ didn't look like they'd be pulling their weight on the ship. There was a short, stocky man with a determined, yet desperate look in his eye, and a woman in a tan coat that looked lost, but excited. Behind them was a man I thought was familiar…

Bruce Baxter! Holy mother of God!

I miraculously kept my excitement and my voice down.

The short man convinced El Capit-I mean, Englehorn, to cast off early. Obviously he was rushed. Was he running, like me?

After their conversation, Englehorn walked toward the woman. I caught a bit of their conversation.

"It's not every woman that would take such risks."

Risks? Was I putting myself at risk?

I stepped onto the tramp steamer, which I found was called the Venture, after reading the name on the side of the ship. Englehorn, like a gentleman, waited for everyone else to get on before he did. He set about to cast off, after introducing me to a boy about my age called Jimmy. Jimmy smiled shyly at me and went to show me to where I was to stay.

"I'm sorry, miss…" he trailed off, looking at me questioningly.

"Harker. But you can call me Scarlett." I said, trying to make him feel more relaxed. His arms and shoulders were tense the whole time we were walking.

"Well, Scarlett, I hate to say this, but we don't have any rooms left."

"So…" I asked, partially dreading any other option I would have. Would I have to share a bed with a crew member?

"Uh, we have the animal enclosures down in the brig area. Is…that okay?"

Horrorstruck silence.

"Um…yeah, that sounds…fine."

He let out a breath I hadn't noticed he was holding.

"Good." We set off again. I heard the ship's horn blow, and hurried footsteps traveled toward us. A man with a large nose ran past us, knocking me over and running on, without an 'excuse me' or anything. Jimmy helped me up.

_Englehorn didn't, _I noted.

"So…what are that man and that lady doing here?" I asked.

"Oh, them? Well, the guy is Carl Denham, he's a film producer, he's going to…Singapore. The girl is Ann…something. She's gonna be in his new flick. And the other guy is Bruce-"

"Baxter." I finished.

"Must be a fan." Jimmy smirked, "And here we are…"

He opened the door to a large room filled with cages.

"Pick one." Jimmy said.

Hmmm…

I pointed to a large one with a large amount of hay, and dropped my bag in it.

"Could be got back up to the deck?" I asked.

"Sure."

On the way back, Jimmy spoke.

"They found me in one of those cages, you know."

"What? Who?"

"Some of the crew. They found me in a cage and I've been here ever since."

"Where did you come from?"

He fell silent. We didn't talk until we got back to the deck.

"It was nice to meet you, Jimmy." I said.

"You too," he replied, "I…"

He stopped to watch a few red and blue lights. Police cars?

They skidded to a halt on the docks, while the ship was already moving slowly away.

Then, out of on of the cars…

"Charles!" I cried. Had he come looking for me?

Oh no…

At that time I thought it best to return to my…lodging, so I went back down to the brig.

As I lied on the hay facing the top of the rusty cage, I wondered how long I'd be on the ship.

The door creaked; I shifted, and saw a Chinese man rambling about some random animals they kept in cages. Following him was the man with the big nose.

He, too, selected a cage. It was near mine.

Englehorn came in to talk to the man. Mr. Driscoll, he called him. I think I watched a play by a Driscoll once…

I didn't pay attention to their conversation; I was self-absorbed in my triumph. I had left home! Sure, I had police on my tail, but I would never have to see Charles's face again.

Most probably.

Englehorn had left the room. I turned to Mr. Driscoll, who was oblivious to my presence.

"Hello," I said. He jumped about a foot high, upturning the typewriter he was setting up, "I'm Scarlett."

End Chapter 3


	4. Guessing Games

Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 4: Guessing Games

Recap:

I was self-absorbed in my triumph. I had left home! Sure, I had police on my tail, but I would never have to see Charles's face again.

Most probably.

Englehorn had left the room. I turned to Mr. Driscoll, who was oblivious to my presence.

"Hello," I said. He jumped about a foot high, upturning the typewriter he was setting up, "I'm Scarlett."

On with the story…

He set up his typewriter, saying,

"Oh! Hi, I'm Jack-"

"Driscoll?" I guessed.

"Uh yeah, how'd you know?"

"I heard Captain Englehorn say it," I said, working very hard not to say 'El Capitan', "Just because I'm not included in a conversation doesn't mean I can't hear it."

"Hmm. So what brings you here? Does Englehorn know?"

"Yes, he does. I'm here because I need to…get away." I sighed heavily, suddenly exhausted.

"So…where are you?" I realized he couldn't see me because my cage was further up than his.

"Guess," you laughed.

"Are you…higher up?"

"Uh-huh."

"There?" he asked. You saw him point to the one across from you.

"No…warm, though."

"Alright…how about there?" he asked. He gestured to the one next to yours.

"Close, but no cigar."

"Good, I don't want one."

I smiled. A non-smoker was always a plus in my book.

"How bout…there?"

"Oh, got me." I popped a hand out through the bars to wave at him.

"Finally."

An awkward silence chose to pass just then, the sounds of Jack typing filling the quiet space. After five minutes, he spoke.

"So what do you look like?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Just wanted to know. I feel…I don't know…uncomfortable talking to someone I can't see." I understood what he meant then, and smiled.

"Guess." He sighed heavily, though I could tell he was amused.

"Brown hair?"

"Kind of..."

"Blonde?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm. Are your eyes brown?"

How would I answer this? (AN: Remember her eyes are two colors)

"Nope."

"Blue?"

"Wrong again."

"Green…"

"No," I said, but feeling a bit generous, I added, "Well, sort of."

"How can they be sort of green?"

"They're green and brown." I said finally.

"Ah….is your nose asymmetrical?"

"No!" I laughed. He seemed to be good with first meetings.

"Lucky girl." He said. I remembered noting his big nose earlier, and I felt a bit guilty.

It was then that I decided to come out of hiding. I climbed somewhat daintily(I hadn't completely forgotten my upbringing) and walked over to him. He smiled.

"I was just beginning to think I might be talking to a ghost."

"Do you believe in ghosts Mr. Driscoll?"

"Jack," he corrected. I smiled gratefully. I was prone to giving people nicknames inside my head if I didn't call them by their first names. I'd already been thinking of something along the lines of 'Bookworm'. Don't get me wrong, I like to read and write, but this man had the appearance of a person with his nose stuck in a novel wherever he went.

"So what do you do, Mr. Driscoll?"

"I write plays…well, screenplays for now, Carl Denham's trapped me here."

I _have _seen one of his plays!

"Did you, by any chance, write 'Isolation'?" I asked.

"Yes. You know it?"

"Yes! I saw it last fall. I really enjoyed it."

Yesssss! My people skills are building!

Jack smiled. He seemed to think of something, thought, and his smile faded.

"Why are you here? You seem so…young."

Well, he'd find out sometime…

"I just…couldn't stand my life. I know it sounds exaggerated and self-pitying, but I honestly couldn't understand why people with money got to step over people without. And my mother always thought that whoever was poor deserved it," I paused, wondering whether I should tell him the final reason that I ran off,

"And other than that, my mother decided to marry some guy that was, let me put it this way, not the most respectable. And now…he's sent the police after me."

"The police!"

"Didn't you see the police cars on the dock when we cast off?"

"Yes…but I think they might be after Denham." He brought his voice down to a whisper.

"Mr. Denham? Why?" Jack seemed to contemplate whether he should tell me, and said tentatively,

"Well, you can't tell anyone…promise?"

"Promise." I came and sat on a roll of hay near him.

"He, well, he stole some property from his sponsors. His footage. They apparently cut funding on his picture, and he couldn't stand it, so…" he trailed off. I was somewhat relieved that I was not being chased, but I felt sorry for Mr. Denham.

Jack checked his watch.

"11:30. You'd better get to bed, Scarlett."

"I can decide whether to go to bed or not!" I said, puffing up indignantly.

"Alright," he smirked when I yawned, "Feel like it now?"

I mock-glared and said, 

"Yes, I suppose so. It really is quite a late hour." I was obviously trying to sound much more sophisticated (and failing). He started laughing, and I joined in. His laugh was so different compared to my own. It was low and smooth, while mine was somewhat high-pitched and loud and unsteady. Sometimes I even snorted, but the look on my mother's face when I did caused me to stop laughing in half a second.

The laughter faded and ceased. I climbed back up to my cage and made myself as comfortable as I could on the hay.

"Till tomorrow." He called up to me.

"Till tomorrow." I answered.

Well, till tomorrow, guys! I'll update as soon as I can! I like reviews hint hint nudge nudge


	5. Author's Note

Ok guys, I've been getting a lot of emails asking for more details about what Scarlett looks like, so here goes…:

Eyes: Bright green with brown specks and a brown rim round the outside.

Hair: Dark Brown/Black (I know I said blonde in my last chapter, but I made a mistake) and wavy.

Nose: Straight and medium sized

Skin: Pale and smooth

So there you go guys! You never have to email me about it again, because if you do, I will NOT REPLY. (blatant Mythbusters quote lol!)


	6. The Man of my Dreams and Practical Jokes

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter Five: The Man of my Dreams And Practical Jokes

I opened my eyes, expecting to see sunlight pouring through my pent house window. Instead, I smelled the faint odor of dung and heard a man's soft snores. I smiled to myself.

It was real.

I rubbed the sleep dust out of my eyes, and let out a large yawn. I instinctively went to cover my mouth, but then caught myself and stopped. I was no rich girl now.

I looked over to Jack, waiting for him to wake up. Soon I got bored, watching his chest rise and fall in rhythm, so I decided to have some…good…clean…fun. I climbed down from my cage, tiptoeing over to Jack's. Quietly giggling, I took a marker I found on the floor and uncapped it. Barely holding back laughter, I took the thick marker to Jack's peaceful, unsuspecting face…

When I was done, I looked down at my masterpiece. An eye patch was drawn over his left eye, and his right was done with what looked like heavy eyeliner. There was a curly marker mustache drawn between his nose-which I had drawn large moles on-and his mouth. His chin was covered in an inky beard which went all the way to his hairline.

I really was the _most_ mature person on board. Not.

Letting out a loud bark of laughter, I quietly fled the scene of the crime. It wasn't long after I'd left that I heard a great yawn and the creaking of floorboards. I ran as fast as I could to the galley before I began to shriek in laughter. At this, the cook, Lumpy, raised his eyebrow.

"What's so funny? And who the hell _are_ you?"

"She's a stray I took from the streets." I voice from behind me said. The laughter faded from my face and instead I grew very red. It was either from indignation or embarrassment.

"A stray?" I asked, barely holding in my anger. He obviously enjoyed taunting me.

"A stray is something found on the streets without a home." He said, a smug little smirk growing across his face.

"I _know_ what a stray is!" I cried, "and I'm not a stray!"

He chuckled maddeningly.

See, this is why I women are better than men. They don't play these stupid mindgames.

"What do you have against me anyhow?" I asked angrily.

"Nothing." He smirked wider and shrugged.

Men are so confusing.

Lumpy, hearing silence, but not seeing the evil death glare I was sending in the captain's way, repeated his question,

"So…what was so funny?"

And, like a sign from God, in walked poor Jack. Lumpy, Jimmy, and a few other crew members took a second to glance over his face, and then a volcano of laughter erupted from each and every one of them.

Except Captain Englehorn. The left side of his lip lifted slightly, and I swear I heard him snort, but other than that, he was utterly unmoved.

I, on the other hand, sunk to the floor, screaming with laughter and clutching my stomach.

"What?" a startled Jack said. Lumpy, choking on his cigar, held out a spoon toward his face.

…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! SCARLETT!"

My eyes widened to twice their normal size. I jumped up from the floor as fast as I could, and ran for my life. Stumbling all the way down the hall and tripping up the stairs, I once again found myself running headlong into a large…thing.

"Hey watch it, bub!" A voice said. I looked up into the person's face, and saw his annoyed expression soften, and his eyes get wide.

"You're a…a.."

But he never finished his sentence, because I cut him off with a long, ear-splitting scream.

"-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Bruce Baxter! Omigosh, I just want you to know that I am your biggest ever fan! Eeeeeeeeek!"

At this statement, the man of my dreams's face adopted a strangely conceited smile.

"Well, I, uh, know what you mean. I mean, if I were you, I'd have wet my pants."

_Huh? Definitely conceited, but I mean, he's an actor, he's allowed some fault, right?_

"-But if I were you, I'd tone down on the screaming, I think I just busted an eardrum! Definitely not good for hearing cues…"

_Okay, he's STILL droning on about himself, getting annoying…lalalalalalala…I wonder if we'll get to-where are we even going?- before he stops talking?_

Three minutes later-seriously, I checked the time- he was beginning to really get on my last nerve. What did I see in this guy again? He reminded me a little bit of Charles.

My suffering soon ended, though, when Jack rounded the corner of a wall.

"Scarlett." He said, out of breath. Out of breath and somewhat angry. Maybe even really angry, but the marker on his face kind of ruined the effect.

I was beginning to think that a whole new kind of suffering was about to begin.

"Hey, chick, is this guy bothering you?" Baxter said, obviously trying-and failing- to seem chivalrous. Laughing at Jack's face was not so chivalrous. So was calling me 'chick'.

"No, I'm fine." I said, shrinking slightly in Jack's evil glare.

"Ok, I gotta get to a scene. Bye…"

"Miss Harker," I filled in for him. I didn't feel like letting him call me by my first name.

As he swaggered around the corner, I turned my attention to Jack.

"It won't come off." He said. I was confused.

"What won't come off?" As soon as I asked, it dawned on me. _I was living with my mother and Charles too long. I'm getting a bit stupid. _

Just thinking of my mother made me feel a bit guilty and homesick. Because, you know, at home, I didn't sleep in a crate, and we didn't have porridge that looked like cat sick.

Oh, and there was no smarty-pants ship captain to vex me, either. But anyway…

"The ink. It's not washing off."

"Oh my gosh. I'm SO SORRY. Now please, please…don't kill me."

"I'm not gonna kill you, Scarlett," he said, while uncapping a black marker. Uh oh. "But I'm going to make you suffer."

As he said this, I noted the maniacal glint in his eye and the feel of his hands holding my arms. I was trapped. The marker was getting close…and then…

I trudged back down to the galley miserably. As I walked through the doorway, I saw that Lumpy, Jack, and Jimmy were the only ones there. I glared at Jack, trying to melt the smirk of his face. I then collapsed onto the counter in front of Lumpy.

"Could I get something to eat please?"

After ladling me a bowl of-surprise! Porridge-he eyed my face amusedly.

I collapsed into a chair across from Jimmy. His face was red from containing his laughter.

"Your face…there's a heart on it. And a mustache."

"WHAT!" I hadn't seen my face since I was brutally attacked by Jack and his marker. I held up a spoon and stared at my reflection. Indeed, I had a bushy mustache and a heart drawn over my eye. My forehead bore the legend "Dumb" on it, and I had a marker-goatee.

"Now we're even" Came Jack's voice. I cast him a withering look, and dug into my porridge. As soon as I took my first gooey, bland bite, Captain Englehorn walked into the room.

_Oh my god, this is going to be so bad..._

"Miss Harker," How did he know my last name? I didn't tell him, did I? Did Baxter tell him? "Since you promised you would work your way onto my ship, you will not object to a few chores."

"Which ones?" I asked, keeping my face turned away.

"You will clean the galley, wash the dishes, swab the deck, scrub the lavatory, and clean out one of the…recently used…cages."

Not wanting to sound ungrateful or lazy, I replied,

"Yes, El Capitan."

"Excuse me?" El Capitan inquired, his left eyebrow raised way up high. I noticed that his lips tightened when he was surprised.

"Uh…I said…Captain?"

"Look at me when you say something, Miss Harker." He commanded.

It sounded just like a death sentence, I swear to you.

I slowly turned my face to his, and winced, waiting for his look of incredulity and mirth.

It never came.

Instead, his blue, blue eyes flicked across my face, and he simply said,

"Interesting choice of make-up." And with that, he walked out of the galley.

And with that I realized something; that man was as aggravating as Charles.

End Chapter 6


	7. Everything Sucks

Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 6: Everything Sucks

As I scrubbed down the filthy, grimy galley, I had a surprisingly deep and profound revelation:

Ship work sucks.

My arm was tired from gripping a small, smelly cloth and wiping it around. My knees were probably rubbed raw from kneeling down to get to hard-to-reach spots. I could practically hear the boredom buzzing in my ears. While scrubbing the kitchen counter, my thoughts turned to my mother.

Did she miss me? Was she now married? Was she going to have a new baby? Had she realized what a scumbag Charles was and left him? Probably not…

Nausea threatened to squeeze my innards out, and I quickly grasped the corner of a table to support my suddenly immense weight. The feeling soon passed, though, and in half an hour I was finished with my first task. I then looked toward the mountain of dishes overflowing the sink, and sighed.

Ship work sucks.

In another hour, I stared at my wrinkled, soggy fingertips. Who knew that washing dishes could be so energy draining? I'd watched the maid do it thousands of times, and it didn't seem hard at all.

But we didn't eat porridge that seemed to turn into cement after two hours of lying around.

I heard footsteps and saw el Capitan walk through the doorway. _Must call him Englehorn, otherwise it'll slip out like before!_

"Are you finished down here?" He asked, observing the galley and nodding. I was rubbing my fingers vigorously to get the feeling back into them, and he soon took notice. El Capitan (_Englehorn! ENGLEHORN!) _crossed over to me and took hold of my left hand. I felt it tingle. It was either from the blood rushing into my fingers again, or from the captain's touch. I preferred to believe the sooner.

Observing my pruned hand, he said,

"Don't worry, you'll have worse in time."

Grrrrr.

"Now get on over to the bathroom and make it as clean as this place."

I took that as a cunningly hidden complement, and my lips twitched upward. Maybe he wasn't so cruel.

But ship work still sucks.

And Englehorn (yessss! I did it right!) was not wrong about my hands. After scrubbing the bathroom, which smelled like Charles did, and swabbing the deck with a filthy mop, my fingers were all but bleeding.

_Actually, I see a cut riiiiight there…_

Anyway, I was soon on my way to the cargo hold where I was to clean one of the cages out, where I found…el Capitan?

Damn it, I thought I was doing okay on that for a second…

"Miss Harker," he said, "I will help clean this cage out with you."

"Why?" I asked, and soon regretted it. I didn't know whether it was alright to question him.

"Because," he sighed, rolling his eyes, "it is filled with waste, and I wouldn't be surprised if you fainted right where you are now."

I opened my mouth to argue, but closed it again when I found, to my horror, that he was right.

He tossed me a rag and dipped his own in what appeared to be a mixture of water and soap. He grimaced only slightly when he began to wipe down the bars of the cage. I soaked my own rag, and got to work as well. I was only a matter of minutes before I began to feel dizzy.

Did I mention that ship work sucks?

It was also a matter of minutes before I realized that the captain had some soap on his nose. I, being a bit hung up on little things as usual, pointed this out to him, and he wiped it off with a soap-covered finger.

Smaaaart.

I giggled slightly(to my imminent dismay) and he looked up yet again. Realizing he still had soap on his nose, he wiped at it again.

_With the same finger._

I swear. For the, unfortunately, undoubtedly smart man he was, he was being extremely thick. Rolling my eyes quickly, I reached up and wiped it off for him, then showed him his soapy finger. He was momentarily speechless, and I was feeling strangely triumphant.

_Haha, I'm smarter than you-uuu, _the sing-song voice in my head said.

My victory was short-lived however, when he reminded me of my earlier embarrassment by saying,

"Well, I believe you have a bit of ink…all over your face."

I swear, from that moment on I knew he would never let me live that down.

To hide my cheek's new pink hue, I looked down at the cage's floor and started scrubbing again. I heard him begin to scrub as well, and slowly lifted my eyes to glance at him.

From how far down I was crouching, he towered over me greatly. I could see his arm muscles at work, removing the grime from the metal bars of the cage. He seemed to feel my gaze, and slowly lowered his eyes to mine. I quickly busied myself with one tiny little stubborn spot. I sensed his stare on me for a few seconds.

"So, why did you do it?"

"Run away, you mean?"

"Yes."

"My mother was being intolerably thick." I replied. It felt relieving to finally get my feelings off my chest.

"Was it only your mother?"

"She was the only one I had."

"Was she getting married?"

TELEPATH I TELL YOU! TELEPATH!

"How did you know?"

"My mother did the same." I gaped slightly. From the little I knew of the captain, he didn't seem like the type to talk about his past.

"Did you run away?" Silence. Maybe I was pushing too far…

"Not until I found out what my stepfather was like."

"I'm guessing he wasn't very nice."

"Hmmm." That seemed to be his only adequate answer.

"How old were you?"

"Very young." Very enigmatic. He, shockingly, continued, "I ran to the docks, like you. A man found me, and I promised to work hard if he let me aboard his ship, again like you."

He was silent for a moment, as if trying to decide whether he was telling me too much. He apparently decided he wasn't for he soon said,

"The man died, and left me his ship."

"This ship," I guessed.

"Yes, the Venture."

Awkward silences…

Lalalala….lala…lalala…laaaaaaaa…

Silence sucks. So does, ship work, by the way.

My hands were red and blistered when we were done. Captain Englehorn saw them, and recommended that I soak them in Lumpy's porridge. At least it was good for something.

I walked down the hall toward the stairs up to the deck and saw Jimmy walk down the hall toward me. He saw the marker I was holding in my hand and said,

"Hey, could I have my marker back? I wouldn't want you to draw on anyone else's face."

"Oh, okay." I handed him the marker.

"Mr. Driscoll's still a bit touchy about that, by the way." I snorted.

"Not such ladies now, are you?" he asked, his head cocked to one side.

"How do you know I was ever a lady?" I asked.

"No normal girl could get clothes like that," he said, pointing to my wet skirt and blouse, "Even if they're soaking."

"Hmm." I replied. My mind was still reeling from Englehorn's confession earlier.

"Something on your mind?" Jimmy asked, his head tilting in the other direction now.

"Just thinking."

"Okay. Well, I gotta go find something to eat. See you later."

"'Bye."

I watched him walk away and then called out,

"Jimmy, where are we headed?"

"Singapore!" he called back.

_Hmmm…Singapore…_

I decided to head up to the deck. The sun would have been setting then, and I'd always wanted to see a sunset over water.

I walked up the steps, gripping the handle rail, for I was weak from my chores. Up on deck I saw that Mr.-Denham was it?-was filming a scene with Ms. Darrow. She was grasping her throat and crying quite convincingly, and I caught a glimpse of Jack, marker and all, looking somewhat love struck. Mr. Denham, seeing this, waved Jack away.

I took the opportunity to go over to him.

"Jack, look, I'm sorry. If I knew drawing on your face was going to make you look bad in front of," I was slowly dissolving into giggles, "in front of her…"

All was lost, I was doubled over in laughter. Needless to say, I was not good at apologies, but this one seemed to suffice for Jack.

"It's…it's alright. Besides, I got you back." He ended in a smirk, and I smiled.

"Awwww, you know, fighting is a sign of true friendship. It helps us-"

"Grow." Jack finished, "That's from my play."

"I know. I love that line."

"You mean you don't like any of the other lines?" He asked, feigning hurt and shock. I laughed, and held out my hand.

"Friends?" Jack took my hand, and pulled me to him in a friendly hug.

"Friends."

"Awwww!" I heard Jimmy cry out. Which led me to think…

Eavesdropping shipmen suck.

End Chapter 7.

I love how this one turned out! Yayyy! I didn't mean for it to be a fluffy, but it did. And I tried to put Englehorn in without making it look too sudden. Hope you like it!…..ubbing again. eed ked down at the cage'ld never let me live that down. rrasment soapy finger. ...y suddenly immense weight.


	8. The Rest Of The Gang

Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 7: The Rest Of The Gang

Hey people! Just wanted to say sorry for the wait, I have no real excuse. Just being lazy.

After three days on the Venture, the feeling of freedom started to sink in. I could have the wind blowing through my hair without my mother telling me to tie it back. I could kick a man for making lewd comments, the way I'd always wanted to kick Charles. I could have jumped off the ship right then, and there would be no mother to lecture me for a day and a half! I was nearly high with the thought of being able to be whoever I felt like. I was ecstatic. No one here would expect me to be a lady or a spoiled little rich brat. I was Scarlett Harker, the strange stowaway that Englehorn somehow put up with. I was no one!

And as much as everyone wanted to be a someone, I had longed to be a no one all my life.

As I mulled over my current thoughts, I was blind to where my legs were taking me. Soon enough, though, my random walk was ended by a large…something.

How many times have there been large somethings blocking my path now?

I looked up and saw a portly man carrying a stack of paper. Carl Denham.

"Watch where you're going next time, miss…" he trailed off as he helped me up.

"Harker," I answered, "Scarlett Harker."

"Well, Scarlett-may I call you Scarlett?-" he inquired, "I must ask what a girl like you is doing on a boat like this?"

Oh, my god. _The_ worst pick-up line ever invented. And he's using it on me!

Also, why is everyone always asking why a girl like me is here? Can't a girl get some peace? Jeez.

"Why I'm here is none of your business." I stated, my voice turning slightly cold.

"Of course, of course," Denham said. He seemed to be the type of man that conformed to any role, to the expectations of anyone he met. "But it's in the human nature to be curious."

"Yes, it is," I answered, thinking fast for a good comeback. Chances like this don't come by too often, "Which leads _me_ to ask; why do you even care?"

Needless to say, comebacks are not my forte.

"Well, as I said before," Denham said, smirking, "I am only curious."

Damn. Backed into a wall. Figuratively, of course.

"Well, I must be getting above deck to film, would you like to watch?"

Hm. This one was a strange man. Quick to reciprocate…

"Why, yes, I very much would."

Just like I was quick to accept.

On deck, I saw the faces that had become familiar to me. Jimmy, Jack, Mr. Hayes, Bruce, Denham, and a few crew members; Bill, Jose, John, Kyle.

And Englehorn, way up in the control room, eyes set upon the horizon.

But there was one person on deck that I had not yet met. Ms. Ann Darrow. She seemed to be in a scene with Bruce, gazing out into the ocean and engaging in playful banter. Jack was off to one side, rolling his eyes. Was he jealous of Bruce?

smirk Mebbeh….

"Why hello there, Jacko," I said, "Enjoying the view?" I nodded toward Ann.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," He replied, not grasping the meaning in my question. Comprehension seemed to dawn to slowly, but soon his face illuminated with understanding, "I mean, no, uh…where would you get that idea?"

"Ask me no questions I'll tell you no lies, eh?"

"Well, I don't. I mean, I'm _not_ enjoying the view." He said, sounding like he was trying hard to convince me.

"You mean you think she's ugly?" I asked, enjoying my little mind game.

"_No!_ I mean…she's not unattractive, I guess. But I'm not staring or anything. I'm just looking at Bruce…" As soon as the last sentence left his mouth, I knew he regretted it.

"_Bruce?_ Is there something I should know?"

"Oh for the love of God, Scarlett, stop." He said, but he couldn't keep from laughing.

Oh, I am soooo good.

"Fine, but whenever you want to talk, Jack, I'm here." I smirked, patted him on the shoulder, and left.

I found myself climbing the ladder to the crow's nest. To my surprise (and small horror) it was there that I found Englehorn. I tried to quietly climb back down while his back was to me, but he said suddenly,

"Miss Harker, don't let my presence put you off."

See? Telepath. I _told _you.

I climbed back up and hopped the railing. Never having done something like hopping the railing before, I fell down on the other side.

Is it just me, or has every embarrassing moment I've ever had been in front of Englehorn? When I was nine and flew right off a swing set, was he looking at me and sniggering? When I threw up at my fifteenth birthday party, was he lurking behind a wall?

Please, no. Please, _please_ no.

He bent down to help me up. After brushing myself off, I said,

"I see your manners have got better since we were at the docks," I said, remembering when he had knocked me over and left me on the ground.

"I see you've got no less clumsier," he retorted. And, in usual telepath manner, he was right. He smirked triumphantly. Then he said,

"Beautiful isn't it? The ocean…"

_Um, excuse me? First he's insulting me and then he's talking about the ocean's beauty? Is he drunk? Does he have some strange split personality? Does EVERYONE here have some strange split personality? Am I on a boat full of crazy people? They're always switching from nice to evil, evil to nice. I swear –_

"Miss Harker? You're…staring off into space." He snapped in front of my face, pulling me out of my bout of paranoia. Maybe _I_ have a personality disorder…

"Uh, yes, the ocean, it's…nice."

Oh…my god. Nice? Is that all I have to say? Ugh, I'm such an oddball.

"It is…nice." Oh no, conversation turning awkward…must escape-

"So…"

-or throw myself deeper into the endless pit of awkwardness…

"So…" Awww, Capitan, you always seem to not need words, why not now?

Wait…yes...eureka! An idea!

"Um…"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it's gone again.

"You're shivering. You should find a jacket." He pointed out.

"You're right. I'll just-"

Huh?

He had wrapped his overcoat around me, the corners of his lips twitching up, apparently satisfied. I dared to look up into his eyes. They were like the ocean, just as beautiful as the ocean. The ocean around was…nice…but his eyes…I was drowning-

"Scarlett!" I heard Jack's voice call out from below.

Men ALWAYS have bad timing. _Always_. I sighed, and el Capitan looked away.

Note renewed use of annoying nickname.

I turned toward the railing and looked down. Jack, with Ann, was looking back up at me. I turned back to Englehorn and handed him his coat with a well-practiced, grateful smile. Then, I proceeded to climb down the ladder.

"There you are, Scarlett." Jack said once I'd hopped down to the ground, "I was looking for you. I'd like you to meet Ann."

Ann outstretched her hand and said, "Ann Darrow."

I took her hand and shook it gently, "Scarlett Harker."

Jack looked at us and said, "Well, you two should talk. I'll go find Englehorn."

"He's up there," I said, nodding up to the crow's nest.

"He's up there? He was with you?" He asked, a smirk growing at the corners of his mouth. I had the feeling I was about to be punished for my little joke earlier.

"Well, yes."

"Doing what?" He inquired, full out smiling now.

"Don't you have to go find him?" I asked firmly.

"Fine. Be that way." And he went to talk to Englehorn.

"Well. So Ann, are you a new actress?"

"Yes, I am. I didn't know there was another girl on board. Why are you here, if you don't mind me asking?"

I sighed. I _did_ feel like I could trust her…

"I, um, ran away from home."

"Oh, how awful. But why?"

"My mother was getting married to this _horrible_ man, and she was completely oblivious to his…horrible…ness."

Ann giggled, but then turned serious, "Did he, you know, hit you or anything?"

"No, but he was a drug and arms dealer. And he seemed to take some interest in me as well as my mother. I swear, once he called me 'toots'."

Ann made a face. I laughed. Before we knew it, we we're both laughing our heads off and making every crew member who passed by look at us strangely.

"You sure…have a...talent…for making people…laugh!" I stuttered between giggles.

"It's what I do," she smiled. But then her grin faded, "Well, what I used to do."

"What do you mean?"

"I used to be a comedian, but then our venue was shut down. But I was lucky enough to find Mr. Denham. Or rather, he found me."

"Hmm." I said, listening intently.

She seemed as out of place on this ship as I did. As lost, as confused. I felt my heart go out to her. After all, she probably never had money or the ability to have anything she wanted.

But at the same time, I was slightly jealous. She had probably always been free to do what she thought was right, not what was expected of her.

I brushed away my thoughts of self pity and envy. I had made a new friend.

"C'mon. Let's find something to eat. All those takes and cuts must have you with quite an appetite."

**End. **


	9. Message in a review please

Hey guys! Ok, I'm sorry that I've been holding out on the updates for a while now, but I just need to know what the next step is in the story. Meanwhile, I wanna know if any of you think I should write an X-men story. I want to, but it'll mean that chapters for my stories will not come up as fast. Message me if you think it's a good idea or not. I plan to make it a romance if I _do _write one, just so you know.

Wah Tchaaa,

Ninja Stealth Noise.

p.s.: Omg The Da Vinci Code is teh roxors. Book AND movie. Silas!awesome! Ok, I'm gonna…go…MESSAGE//hint hint/


	10. Reply To Messages

Hey Guys!

Ok, I've decided to write an X-men story…but only AFTER I develop the plots of my others two stories. I'm just getting so many ideas after seeing the DaVinci Code and X3 and all that, I can't wait to start writing about them. Thanks for the messages btw!

Whisperwings: Yeah, I saw X3. Angelthe hawtness! He's so cool. I just felt like they weren't being true to the comic at all after the 1st and 2nd, but the 3rd is closer to the comics.

Mirukui: yes, I know it. Wolverine + Xavier…I should write a one shot.

Wolverine: I…I…

Xavier: Love me?

Wolverine: Telepath!

Xavier: You…_just _noticed.

Wolverine: ...let's kiss

Xavier: Ok.

CENSORED! OMG OMG BUTTSECKS AKTION!

…I belong in the fifth grade, man, srsly.


	11. Embarrassment

Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 8: Embarrassment

After four days on the Venture, I felt myself becoming familiar, almost friendly, with the crew and passengers. I shouted out a 'Hi' to Jimmy once in a while, giggled about jack with Ann, and I could even find the lavatory without asking for directions. When porridge-time came round, I didn't have to compliment Lumpy on his cooking. Hayes, the first mate, was even teaching me about the ship.

The only thing-or person-that eluded me was Englehorn. He was silent one moment, almost brooding. Then he was making stabs at conversation. It was like he was…going out of his way to talk to me?

Somehow, this "clumsy girl" doesn't think so.

But he was interesting. More than once he caught me looking at him, trying to figure out his expression. The only one I'd understood completely so far was the one where he raised his eyebrow at me, as if to say, "What are you looking at?"

To which I'd reply(in my head), "Your eyes, el Capitan."

But as soon as the thought crossed my mind my own eyes widened and I looked away. Who knows what his telepath mind could pick up?

On the fifth day of the voyage, was learning to read maps in the control room. Mr. Hayes was throwing coordinates at me left and right, and I was rushing to point to them with my compass. With an exasperated smile I said,

"You just _love_ watching me work, don't you?"

"Yes." He replied with a small smile.

"I know why Jimmy likes you now. He loves to see me work too. Laughs about it, usually."

"You remind me of him, you know."

"Jimmy?"

"Yes. You're so much alike, you can't even imagine."

_Where was this going?_

"You could easily be brother and sister."

Phew. No awkward answers needed.

"And he _has_ taken a liking to you."

Aw, crud. Jinxed it.

"In what way, Mr. Hayes?"

"He told me…"

"Yes…" I coaxed.

"He said you were like his sister."

"He has a sister?"

"Had."

"Oh." I said quietly. From what I had heard about Jimmy's past, I would say that he thought _my_ reason to run was nothing.

"He also said you were very good-looking, if you don't mind me saying."

"…Jimbo? He _said _that?"

"He most certainly did." This was not Mr. Hayes' voice. I looked over the man's broad shoulder and saw…

El Capitan himself.

"So do you all just come together and talk about people, or can you just read their thoughts?"

"Gossip is a luxury shipmen cannot afford. Would you think me a telepath?"

_Of course. And you _know _I know you are, el Capitan. This all a clever ruse to hide the truth, I know it! _

He made no sign of hearing my inner thoughts, and he promptly turned away from me and towards the wheel. I _had_ to know, though. As insane as it was, as impossible as it was, I needed to know whether he really _was_ a telepath.

"Are you? A telepath, I mean." He turned to me again and exchanged a look with Mr. Hayes.

Were they relaying telepathic messages?

"Why would you think I was, Miss Harker?"

"Well…" I paused, thinking of some point to make, "You rarely talk. What's to say that you aren't talking to people in their minds? And you _always_ know when I walk into a room when your back is turned. And it's like you can tell what I'm thinking or what I'm going to say before I say it. So all the evidence points to you!"

He was silent for at least five seconds. Was he shocked? Did I really expose the truth?

No, apparently I hadn't. He suddenly burst into mocking laughter, throwing his head back and then doubling over. Mr. Hayes was holding back a chuckle.

"Had you…e-ever thought, Miss Harker," he said between sniggers, "That the reason that I can hear you come into a room is because you are so loud? Or that I could guess what you were going to say because you stutter so much that I can finish your sentence before you could decide what to say? And you are not very well-on at hiding your emotions. Have you ever thought that you just weren't as graceful or eloquent as you thought?"

That was _harsh._

"Excuse me. Let me try to read _your _mind this time," I began, my voice growing louder and colder with each word, "You're feeling pleased with yourself, smug, even. You've finally put me in my place, haven't you?"

The voice coming out of my mouth was so sarcastic and angry that Mr. Hayes decided to duck out of the room. All the laughter was gone from Englehorn's face, and he was looking at my silently, daring me to go on.

"Do you _really_ think that putting me down is necessary? Does it make you feel big? Hmm!" I was growing slightly hysterical now, and his eyebrows lifted at my tone.

"I'm sorry, _Captain_," I sneered, "For my freshness, but I don't think I owe you any more respect than the amount you've paid me! And, if you haven't noticed while obviously thinking about how clumsy and imperfect I am, that amount is not much! El Capitan-"

"What?" he interjected. I remembered what I'd called him, and my face took up any color it hadn't gained from my yelling, "What did you call me?"

"I-um…I called you…el…Capitan." The shyness and uncertainty flooded back into my voice and I hated it.

"It is a bit early for pet names, don't you think?" He smirked. Tears threatened to fall from my eyes after all the yelling and embarrassment. I held them back astonishingly well, if I do say so myself.

"Well, nevertheless, I might have one for you."

Oh no.

"How about…Mary Jane?" I felt my eyes widen. A 'Mary Jane' was a spoiled rich girl. A stereotypical brat.

I didn't answer. I walked quietly as I could (which, after learning how loud I really was, wasn't quiet at all) out the door and down to the deck. I faced the ocean and felt the salt in the air sting my nose. I let my tears fall freely now.

Perhaps I wasn't fitting in that well after all.

End……………………………………………..

Okay, guys, tell me what you think about their first fight. Wah Tchaaa!


	12. Panic! On The Venture

Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 9: Panic! On The Venture

After an hour of staring blankly at the horizon, I still couldn't get over my anger and shame. _Mary Jane_, he had called me.

_And to think that I was beginning to believe I was different than the kind of people I grew up with,_ I thought sadly, _if someone that barely knows me can see the resemblance, than what hope do I have?_

Tears had stopped falling from my eyes long before. The only thing that remained of them was two shining lines running down my cheeks. I closed my eyes, trying to force his mocking laughter out of my head. It was the first time I'd heard him laugh. Lost in my sad fury, I didn't hear the footsteps coming up behind me. Two hands covered my eyes, and I heard a juvenile snigger.

"J-Jimmy." I sniffed. At that moment he realized the tone of my voice and the damp eyelids. He pulled his hands away and I could see the ocean again.

"Scarlett, what's wrong?"

"Do I seem like a rich snob, Jimmy?" I turned to him. He looked genuinely confused.

"You are _nothing_ like a rich snob. Why would you ask something like that?"

"The…the Captain said-"

"Captain Englehorn? He told you that you were a rich snob?"

"He c-called me a…a Mary Jane." I grew quieter with each word. To my dismay, Jimmy looked riffed. His eye actually twitched.

"Don't worry Scarlett, I'll take care of him," He said, trying -and failing- to sound menacing. He pounded his palm with his fist. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Jimmy, no offense, but I don't think you'd do much good. Besides, it's…it's nothing." I sighed dejectedly, leaning against the wooden railing.

"But Scarlett," Jimmy started cautiously, "Did he just say it outright, or did you say something first?"

"Well, I kind of asked a really stupid question."

"What?"

"You know how he seems to read people's thoughts sometimes? And he can sometimes tell when someone's there?"

"Yeah, I always wondered about that."

"Me too! So I asked him if he was a telepath -don't _laugh_!- and he just said that he could tell I was there because I was loud and he could tell what I was thinking because I was so obvious. And I yelled at him –no really, I did- and I accidentally called him…"

"What?" Jimmy probed, "What did you call him?"

"You'll laugh."

"Probably, but tell me anyway!" He said. I glared at him jokingly.

"Okay…I called him…el Capitan."

…Silence. Then-

"AAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jimmy burst out and doubled over, wracked with laughter. Some of the other crew threw him strange looks. Jose looked at me and mouthed, 'What's _wrong_ with him?'

"I never should have told you, Jimmy. Maybe I'll go tell Jack what happened instead-"

"No! No! I'll s-stop, I-I swear!" he exclaimed between chuckles.

"Good. Anyway, he said something about how it was too early for pet names, and then he said I was a Mary Jane."

"That was really unfair though, Scarlett. Him, I mean."

"It was," I sighed. I took a deep breath to calm myself down, "I just thought I was different than the people I grew up with. I mean, if _he _can tell that I was a part of that world, it must be pretty obvious."

"It's not, don't worry. But you _could_ do with some new clothes. Skirts and pearls don't really do it on a tramp steamer."

"Right," I said. The only thing I packed were dresses and skirts and heels.

I mean, seriously, like I could even _own_ a pair of trousers with my mom around. She'd go pseudo-berserk and rip them to shreds with her perfectly manicured bare hands.

Jimmy might have guessed that I didn't have any proper work clothes, because he made an offer.

"How 'bout you borrow some of my stuff? I hate to say it, but I'm not that big or tall."

It was true. We were roughly the same height, only two inches in his favor. He wasn't built like a burly sailor, either.

"That sounds fine." And with that, he led me to his cabin.

He pushed open the door to his cabin and we stepped in. It was small and dingy, not much bigger than my enclosure. There was a small cupboard at the end of his unmade bed, and a low table across the room. He opened the cupboard and pulled out a light blue work shirt and a pair of black trousers. I took them, then looked at him expectantly. He waited for a moment…

"Oh!" he exclaimed. He turned around and put his hands over his eyes.

"Don't you dare peek," I warned. I pulled off my skirt, blouse, and loafers. Pulling the sleeves of the shirt over my arms and buttoning up the front, I realized the clothes were a pretty good fit.

"I didn't think you were _this_ small."

"I was growing out of those."

"Oh." I put on the trousers, and tapped his shoulder for him to turn around.

"Tah-daaaah!"

"You look better in my clothes than me," he joked. He bent down and began to untie his boot's laces.

"What are you-"

"Here," he said, handing me the boots, "I'll, uh, _find_ new ones."

I laughed as I took the boots. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright…" I pulled them on and laced them up. To my surprise, they were only a tiny bit big. They felt heavy. I knocked on the toe and, sure enough, they were steel.

"I bet I could do quite a bit of damage with these," I said, my eyebrows raised.

"Well, there you go. De-snobified."

"That's not even a word, Jimmy."

"It is if I want it to be," he said. I snorted.

"Wow, the new clothes changed your laugh too."

Up in the control room, Englehorn was having a serious guilt trip. I didn't know it at the time, but he was feeling a lot of sympathy at the time.

_She's been trying so hard to get away from who she was…_

He shook his head slightly at the thought.

_Why do I care so much? She's just a girl._

He realized that being "just a girl" could mean two things…

_Yes, she's just a girl, she's vulnerable. She deserved nothing of what I said. _

Away from the guilty captain, I was beginning to feel angry again. Jimmy had to work on some chores, and I was alone again.

_Where does he get off, talking to me like that! What makes me so spoiled? If I was spoiled I would never have come here, I would never have agreed to work my passage! If I was such a Mary Jane I would be back at home whining about my bridesmaid dress being too loose._

Why was I so hung up on this anyway? Why did I not brush the argument off?

_Because I care about what he thinks._

I cringed as I realized…

_I want him to like me. _

At this thought, I began to panic. What if I said something stupid again? I could imagine it…

"_Captain? Do you think I'm pretty?"_

I cringed harder. It was too much stupidity to bear. Even worse, what if I began to _act _like an idiot near him? An image of my mother giggling flirtatiously floated to the front of my mind.

Ew.

Lost in my thoughts, I never heard the door open.

End.

So, who should it be? Just a note: If you guys say it should be Englehorn, I will not make it a romantic thing. No kiss, no hug. I have know how that aspect will come about. If he is at the door, it won't be to declare his love or whatever.


	13. C'mon, Be A Man!

**Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies**

Chapter 10: C'mon, Be A Man!

The door gave way with an eerie creak, sending a shock all the way down to my toes. I heard a click clack on the wooden floor, most probably boots.Through the bars of my cage I saw…it couldn't be Englehorn.

Could it?

My breath caught in my throat. _What was a going to say? What was _he_ here to say?_

"Scarlett?" a voice asked. The air in my lungs whooshed out of me. Closing my eyes tight, I called out.

"Hello, Ann." As she came into view, I glanced at her feet. The click clack sound was made by her heels.

"Jimmy told Jose who told Jack who told me what Englehorn told you."

"Gee, news gets around in strange ways, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does."

No kidding.

"Scarlett, I was just wondering whether you were alright. What he said wasn't true, we all know it."

I opened up the door to my cage, helping Ann climb into it.

"You shouldn't take him too seriously, he barely knows you!" I thought for a second, deciding whether I should tell her of my…predicament.

"Ann…it's a bit difficult not to care what he thinks. I-"

"You like him," She ventured.

"Uh, do I make it too obvious?"

"Only to all the girls on this boat," she laughed, "Luckily, that's just you and me."

"I just don't know _why_ I care so much. What's worse, it's useless liking him. It's not as if he thinks I'm that great, given the circumstances."

"You know, he _did_ look like he had something troubling on his mind earlier."

"I highly doubt it was about apologizing to me," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You never know. Did I tell you how I first met Jack?"

"Oh no, another_ lovey story_…"

"No no no! This one has a point!" She told me about her mistaking someone else for him, and I burst out laughing.

"And let me guess; you're going to say: 'And look how we are now!'"

"Yes. You know, I'm beginning to think YOU are the telepath," Ann teased. I grinned.

"Oh, what's this? I'm hearing your thoughts," I joked. A mischievous smile spread over my face, "Ann! Get those disgusting thoughts out of your head! Jack would _not _be pleased!"

Ann gaped slightly, then slapped my arm laughingly. She went to climb out of the cage.

"Remember what I said, Scarlett."

"I will."

END.


	14. The Tables Turn

Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 11: The Tables Turn

Ok, guys, I guess I didn't clarify something. I always meant for this to be an Englehorn fic. Jimmy is there to be a friend, just like Jack. Don't get me wrong, I like Jimmy, but…I loooooove Englehorn. Also, message me to what his first name should be. I read a lot of fics where his name is like, Thomas or Eric. I want it to be different…

Yeah…

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I felt better after putting on my work clothes and boots. I made me feel…efficient. Different. Empowered, even.

I felt like I was anything but a Mary Jane.

It seemed that Captain Englehorn had noticed the change as well. One afternoon I caught him looking slightly guilty.

Victoryyy!

Still, it had been two whole days since our little spat, and I was beginning to feel awkward when I was near him. I avoided his gaze as if he were Charles, and I busied myself in his presence. I found myself looking up hopefully whenever he started in my direction. Pathetic, I know, but I really wanted to make it up with him.

_I think Jack's constant talk about Ann has turned me into a sad romantic,_ I thought. I quickly berated myself for being to desperate. _Remind me again why I care so much?_

It was in that moment that I heard heavy footfall coming in my direction once again. Two days of listening for the captain had made me familiar with the sound. A pair of worn, black boots came into view.

"Captain," I greeted shortly.

"Who's the telepath now?" He asked. He sounded like he was waiting to get something off his chest. (AN: oooooh his chest lol)

"Maybe you're not as quiet or graceful as you might think," I said. My voice was cold.

"Miss Harker. Scarlett," He said somewhat pleadingly. I looked up. _Did he just say my name?_, "I feel the need to apologize for…what I said."

_Damn right_.

"Somehow I thought so."

"Jimmy told me you were very upset."

_Oooooh, Jimmy, you are SO dead. You should _never_ have given me steel toe boots. _

"Why shouldn't I be? You expect me to be like all those snobs up in penthouses just because that's where I was brought up? Have you ever thought," I said, mimicking his words from before further, "That you don't have to be a snob if you happen to be rich? I could make assumptions of you, too, you know! I could say you're a rude, dirty sailor that knows absolutely nothing, but you aren't are you? You're nothing like that!"

And, again, too late, I realized what I'd said. My mouth is so big that I could have swallowed the entire ship. Englehorn smiled broadly.

"You should think before you speak, Miss Harker. I suspect you've never been good at being angry." And with that, he walked away.

"Telepath…" I grumbled softly. I smiled a small smile, nonetheless.

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	15. Author's Note 2

um, guys, I'm not stopping my series or anything. I am on vacation and I rarely have time to write, k?

Wahhh Tchaaaaa!

Ninja Stealth Noise. 


	16. Behind The Scenes 1 edited!

Behind the Scenes: Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

'Ello, poppets! I finally decided to do another behind-the-scenes segment! Enjoy!

(fades to Englehorn)

Englehorn: I'm not sure I like this celebrity thing. It's a bit dangerous, even compared to storms and things that I face on the Venture.

(fades to Englehorn reading script on dock set)

Englehorn: …(head jerks up) Oh no…

(Enormous pack of screaming teenage girls appears rapidly approaches)

Englehorn: (drops script and runs.) Fangirls quickly catch up and tear off his hat and jacket.

Fangirls: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Englehorn: -returns with numerous scratches and bruises, panting heavily and squinting towards the sun, arms akimbo.-

(fades to Scarlett and Jimmy)

Scarlett: I really love this ship…(hugs the rusty metal wall behind her)

Jimmy: It's only a model… (AN: blatant Monty Python quote!)

(fades to Ann and Jack)

Both: (kissing fervently)

Ann: (breaks away) Oh! Um…we, uh…

Jack: We were gonna say that…

(cameraman sniggers and leaves them alone. Snogging noises are heard.)

(fades to Ninja Stealth Noise)

Ninja: I really HATE sailing. It's so…(suddenly turns comically green and rushes to ship railing and doubles over. Camera swings to an amused Englehorn and Hayes. Ninja looks up and sees them sniggering and slaps them upside the head)

Ninja: (threateningly) I can make you sick like you wouldn't believe…

Englehorn: (clutches his head) Unnnnngh…

(fades to Jimmy and Scarlett)

Both: We all hate Charles, off camera and on.

Jimmy: Dude, he's messed up.

(fades to Charles in his dressing room)

Charles: Where the hellare my cigars! I want to smoke, dammit!

Ninja: (sniggers while wrapping firecracker in cigar paper) Heeeere they aaaare…_hehehe_…

(fades to Englehorn and Scarlett)

(Englehorn looks uneasily at Scarlett, as if trying to understand why he's looking in the first place)

Scarlett: I have no idea why Ninja puts up with him. If we were like that, we'd be attacked by ninja stars or nunchucks or something, right Captain?

Englehorn: (clears throat) Um, yes, we would…

(cameraman sniggers at the awkwardness)

(fades to Skinner and Sawyer from She's The Blade looking wistfully at Scarlett and Remy from She's The Blade talking animatedly)

Sawyer: (sigh)….

Skinner: (rolls eyes) No need to be a girl, Sawyer.

Sawyer: Whatcha say? Huh? You wanna mess!

Skinner: Let's go! (throws invisible punch at Sawyer)

(camera zooms to Scarlett and Remy, watching bemused at the men's full fledged fight)

(fades to Scarlett and Remy)

Remy: They're usually good to each other…

Scarlett: They just act like little boys all the time, I guess.

Both: (crack up)

Remy: Sometimes? Hahahahahahahaha!

(fades to Ninja and Carl Denham)

Well, that concludes this behind-the-scenes segment! (tries to do an Indian accent) Thank you, come again!

Carl: No, no, no. It's like this: (does surprisingly impeccable Indian accent) Thank you, come again!

Ninja: (cracks up)

END.

Guys, when I said another, I meant the one in my LXG story, She's The Blade. I tend to refer to other stories in my behind-the-scenes segments. If you want some of the stuff to make more sense, go to my homepage and read my other stories!

Wah Tchaaaa!

Ninja Stealth Noise


	17. Not A Great Time To Be Realizing Things

**Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies.**

**Chapter 12: Not A Great Time To Be Realizing Things**

Ok, I'm back with a new chapter! AND I've decided on a name for Englehorn, yay! I'd like to thank Kamiyama for the name and all the other ones she suggested –hands Kamiyama an Englehorn plushie- and I wanna thank everyone else that suggested names –hands them Englehorn plushies too-

On with the story!

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I felt better after making up with Captain Englehorn. It was like I couldn't deal with being mad at him. If you'd asked my why right then, I would have lied. I would have said that I was afraid that he'd drop me off at the next port all alone or something. I would have been lying to myself, as well, because a few weeks later, the realization finally hit like a wave colliding violently with the ship.

_I liked him. I wanted him. I wanted _him_ to like _me

Ironically and somewhat unfortunately, a real wave was colliding violently with the ship at the same time.

What were the odds!

At the time, I was afraid. I was below deck in my cage, counting rust stains on the wall. All of a sudden, an almighty BANG resounded in my ears, and the entire ship pitched to the side. I whipped around to look at Jack, whose typewriter had just fallen to the floor. His eyes met mine, and both of us, I could tell, were shocked and scared. A sense of fear took me hostage, causing me to shout out to him,

"JACK! What's going on?" I could scarcely be heard over the plate crashing and the waves pounding the hull above. I climbed down the ladder from my cage as carefully as I could. Another roll of the ship sent me flying and I hit the ground with a thud. Jack rushed to my side, dodging lamps that were knocked loose from the wall and bales of hay falling from open cages.

"Scarlett," he cried, "We have to see what's going on!"

I nodded, not quite grasping the stupidity of going up to the deck where the waves were most fierce and the rocking more extreme. I got to my feet and we ran as fast as we could, Jack getting hit in the leg by a glass lamp. I knew he was bleeding; a piece of glass was sticking out of his skin. His steady gait turned to a limp. I was worried. We gripped the stair railing and continued up the stairs. When we finally got up to the deck, our eyes were burned from the sea spray. Jack, seeing Ann, rushed over, with me in tow, and held her steady.

Mr. Hayes rushed over to us, soaking wet like everyone else.

"You shouldn't be up here! You'll fall over!" He tried to usher us to the door that lead downstairs. His eyes widened when he open the door. Water was covering the floor down the stairs. He growled frustratedly.

"Hold onto something." And with a meaningful look, he hurried to the other side of the ship to tie and tighten some ropes. The crew were rushing everywhere, a determined and sure look in their eye. Jimmy was in the crow's nest, probably freezing.

"Rocks on the starboard side!" He cried out.

Englehorn steered the ship to the left as best he could, making the ship lean sharply to the side, sending Ann, Jack and I to the railing in a heap, Jack had let go for a moment to pull the glass out of his leg. He winced and hissed, making me bite my lip till it drew blood. The taste of blood shocked me; my mind told me I was wounded for a second. In that moment of surprise, I let go of the railing.

At the same moment, Englehorn drove the ship's wheel to the right, avoiding a giant stalagmite. I felt myself slip over the now-horizontal railing. The last thing my brain could register as a fell toward the angry, tossing sea below was Mr. Hayes. He saw me fall and lifted his head to look at the control room where his Captain was. He hollered out louder than any other person I'd ever heard.

"CAPTAIN, MAN OVERBOARD! CAPTAIN! LUKAS!"

End.

Well, another fic where the chick falls overboard. Sorry about that, but I'm lacking in originality right now. Hope you like his name, I sure as hell do. I'll update soon as I can.

Wah Tchaaaa!

Ninja Stealth Noise

P.S. People, I'm getting kinda bored with this story, some motivation would be nice –cough- review! –cough-


	18. A Daring and Dashing Rescue

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 13: A Daring and Dashing Rescue

Hey, guys! Alright, the first part of this is basically a recap showing what was up with Englehorn.

Action!

Englehorn was becoming restless and worried. There was no way to see where he was going through the persistent fog; he could be sailing headlong into a wall for all he knew._ Patience be damned, _he thought.

"I'm getting us out of here, Mr. Hayes." He turned the wheel to his left and hoped to God that he was heading in the right direction. Hayes had ordered Kyle to find the seabed; it was essential that they stayed away from shallow waters. A tense silence settled over the ship. Hayes was saying a silent prayer, Choy had his hands clasped and his face turned to the sky, Lumpy was biting his lip and staring out into the misty abyss. Englehorn was panicking inside his head.

"We have seabed!" Kyle shouted, making Hayes and Englehorn start. Englehorn had feared as much. He turned the wheel harder. Hayes was irked by the Captain's rash actions.

"Captain, you don't know where the _hell_ you're goin'!"

"GET ME ANOTHER READING!" Englehorn shot back, letting his uncertainty and anger pour into his words. He watched his first mate shove back outside with a scowl. _God help us, _he thought, _and God help that bastard Denham when I find him._

There was unrest on deck, with men tapping their fingers and stamping their feet anxiously. Jimmy, up in the crow's nest, tucked away his book and peered into the fog. After a few seconds, his eyes clouded with fright.

"WALL! THERE'S A WALL AHEAD!" Jimmy's voice rang out like the crack of a whip. Englehorn's eyes focused on the foggy expanse in front of him. Sure enough, a crude stone wall, perhaps a hundred foot high, appeared through the mist. The crew went mad, rushing about and yelling to each other. Englehorn commanded Hayes to steer the ship, stomping outside to stare at the spectacle on the deck below. He barked out some orders and went back inside, shoving Hayes off the wheel. He steered with reckless abandon, but it was no use. They were too close. Bracing himself for impact along with the rest of the crew, he prepared to make impact.

Suddenly, he was thrown forward as the ship hit the wall. His stomach hit the wheel, knocking the wind out of him. Then, to Englehorn's imminent joy, a swell carried the Venture away from the wall and back in open water.

"Rocks on the starboard side!" Jimmy bellowed, barely heard over the chaos below. Englehorn's heart dropped once again. He could scarcely believe how fast things were going wrong.

To his horror, rocks materialized out of the fog immediately. Every time he turned to avoid a rock, another appeared before him. Waves were crashing into the Venture from all sides, and it had begun to rain. Englehorn was beginning to tire.

"Rocks!" Someone shouted, contributing absolutely nothing to the entire situation. Englehorn looked for the source of the voice and saw Jack. He was holding Ann and Scarlett tightly, keeping them on their feet. Englehorn felt a twinge of worry for the trio; they'd certainly never had to deal with something like this before. He looked at one particular person and felt a twinge of something else.

Before he could think on this, he felt a swell come up and push the entire ship toward a rockbed. He steered the ship sharply to the left, turning the ship so that it was nearly on its side. Right there, a large stalagmite loomed above them. He turned to the left some more, running into a daunting mass of boulders. The ship stopped its rocking somewhat, and Englehorn found this moment as a chance to breath. Then, his first mate hollered over the storm and madness and creaking of the Venture:

"CAPTAIN, MAN OVERBOARD! CAPTAIN! LUKAS!" Englehorn looked up at the use of his first name, taking a second to register what was just said. It took far less time to register what came next. A woman's cries galvanized him into action. He handed the wheel to Hayes, who'd just run up to the room. Englehorn climbed the ladder down to the deck and slid down the near vertical floor to see Scarlett in the water, paddling and coughing and screaming for help. He tossed his hat and jacket to Jack, who was struggling to stand with Ann at his side, and swan-dove into the angry, foaming, black sea below. Coughing and panting within the first five seconds, he yelled out to the damsel-in-distress.

"S-Scarlett!" He looked around for her; she was no where to be seen. He ducked his head underwater, looking for any trace of her. He looked to his right, and saw a lump, darker than the water around it. He swam to it, feeling for hair, cloth, anything. He grasped a bit of cloth, and a glimmer of hope and relief glowed inside him. He pulled the cloth up to him and swam toward air. He broke the surface just as soon as he became sure he would drown. He tossed his head back, taking in a drink of briny air. He turned to the body in his arms…

His heart dropped once again, causing him to yell out in frustration. The body in his hands was not Scarlett, but another crew member that must have fallen overboard unnoticed. He felt for a pulse; there was none. He dropped the body and searched some more. Two minutes had past, there was little hope that she was still breathing, or that she was even close enough for him to find.

As soon as Englehorn ducked down again, he saw her, floating nightmarishly in the murky seawater. Her black hair was splayed about, contrasting with her pale skin, giving her a ghostly appearance. He dragged her up to the surface, once again breathing in deeply. She was unconscious, head lolling back and lips slightly apart. He swam awkwardly back to the Venture, which was, by the good grace of God, still against the same mass of boulders. Some of the crew threw down a rope, Hayes in front wearing a scared look. He saw the limp body in Englehorn's arms and feared for the worst. Jack and Ann's faces dropped in a manner that would have been comical if it weren't for the circumstances. Carl Denham had decided to brave Englehorn's wrath to come and film the poor unconscious girl. Bruce Baxter had run up to the deck to escape the rising water, and stopped to join the small crowd that surrounded the captain and Scarlett.

In the pouring rain and the persistent sea spray, Englehorn pressed on Scarlett's ribcage repeatedly, trying to get her to breath. He nearly whooped for joy when she moved at last, turning her head to violently cough up water. Ann rushed to Scarlett's side, hugging her as gently as she could, along with Jack, who was babbling incoherently. Englehorn was clapped on the back by many of his crew, still panting and coughing up a bit of water himself. Jimmy had climbed down from the crow's nest to ask repeatedly if Scarlett was alright. She nodded and turned to Englehorn, muttering something he didn't hear.

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I felt a pressure on my ribcage and awoke suddenly. A wave of sickness came over me, and I turned my head to vomit up some water and a little bile.

_Is this a hangover?_ I opened my eyes to see Englehorn sigh in relief. A large group of people was around me, each letting go of bated breaths. I was surprised by Ann hugging me gently, as if I were a tiny doll. Jack began babbling without end, while I glared into a camera held by none other than Carl.

That man really has some issues.

I turned back to Captain Englehorn, remembering what I last heard Hayes yell before hitting the water.

"Thank you, Lukas." He didn't hear me.

End.

Ehhh, I'm sorry if it doesn't flow or anything, I was switching from this to dinner to this to reading parody scripts. And while writing the part where Jack was holding both Ann and Scarlett, I had only one thought: Jack is a P-I-M-P. Lol. Ok, gtg, I am falling asleep on my butt here.

REVIEW PEOPLE! I am tired of hinting subtly. Well…_trying_ to hint subtly.


	19. This Isn't Singapore

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 14: This Isn't Singapore…

Hallo people! I just wanna say that after this, I won't be able to update as often. School started and I made an accord with myself to get ahead on my studies, savvy? I _will_ try to update on Saturdays, so check back then.

-Ninja Stealth Noise

P.S. That "savvy" thing wasn't me talking like a pirate, I just talk like that sometimes. Weird, I know.

P.P.S. I watched the movie again and noticed that Choy calls Englehorn "Skipper". Does anyone else think of that and imagine Barbie's retarded sister or niece or whatever? Srsly.

Lights, camera, hot German sailor, ACTION!

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After my near-death experience, Captain Lukas had forced me to recuperate in my cage for the rest of the night. I felt obligated to listen to him; after all, the man _had_ saved my life.

Unfortunately for me, the fact that he'd saved my life caused my feelings for him to grow stronger.

Which sucks, because I now I'm afraid I'll jump on him if I get too close.

As I lay in my bed, I kept myself busy by thinking of him, quizzing myself on his features: the sculpted nose, the blue-green eyes, the slight stubble. There was no little voice in my mind telling me it was wrong. Instead, there was something telling me that he felt things too. I mean, no guy had refused me before, why start now? Even without money and status, I was a good catch, wasn't I?

…

Wasn't I?

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It was officially the morning after the Incident. I decided to test my sea-legs again, stepping down from my ladder shakily. I walked up to the kitchen to see what I could get to eat.

I walked into the kitchen to find Carl Denham lazing about on a chair, surrounded by Ann, Jack, and a few others. Hiding behind the wall just before Ann noticed me, I caught a few of his words.

"-to get out without Englehorn stopping us, we gotta sneak out. Mike already got out a rowboat, so we just need to be reeeeeeaaaally quiet. Got it?"

"Sneaking out, Denham? I thought you were older than 16," I said, thanking God for a good line.

If you haven't noticed, I don't have that many.

So YESSSSSSS!

"Sc-Scarlett!" he exclaimed, nearly falling out of his chair.

"Hey, Scarlett," Jack said, "Carl wanted to get a scene before Englehorn finds a way to get out of here. He figures if we get one scene, he'll be able to get Englehorn to let stay to finish the whole thing."

"Interesting. Any more room on that boat? I need to get on land for a while, I think."

Denham nodded, and Ann brightened. I grinned in her direction, and my smile grew when I saw her hand on Jack's leg. She followed my gaze and giggled girlishly.

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I got my first real look at the island then.

"This isn't Singapore…" Carl looked at me nervously, as if expecting me to tell Englehorn. Ann looked apprehensive, Jack even more so.

We rowed toward the island quietly; Ann holding Jack's hand for comfort, Carl holding a desperate confidence in his eyes, me staring down at the disturbing rocks, thinking of Luk-…Englehorn.

_If he didn't like me, why did he save me, _the hopeful whisper in my head encouraged,

The painfully rational voice I'd been fighting that whole morning finally retorted coldly, **_Because he's a good man, it's in his nature. Besides, I bet others would too. Jack would. Jimmy would. Even Ann would, if she knew how to swim. _**

_But did you see his face?_

_**He didn't want to have someone die on his ship! It would be horrible! **_

_Especially for him…_

_**What's that supposed to mean?**_

_Why do you think he let you on the Venture in the first place? Take a hint, silly, he likes you! You said yourself, he's a good man. A MAN. And most of the men in your life have felt SOME positive feeling about you. Jimmy and Jack are your friends. Hell, even Charles thought you were a nice piece of ass. _

My rational side couldn't find an argument to that, making me feel uplifted and defeated at the same time. I looked up, seeing that we were coming up to the shore. Jack gave both Ann and I a hand out of the boat, casting me a worried look. We continued down a small, natural arch that was decorated with skulls.

Ew. Whoever lived there must have been a little morbid.

We walked further on. Finally, we came to a large expanse of small rock buildings and spears all over the place.

Screw a little morbid. There were freaking skulls _everywhere_. Ann and I wore disturbed expressions on our face. The only reason I wasn't running back to the boat was because Denham told me that no one lived there anymore. Still, with all the dead fish and bones littered around me, I wasn't about to fall to my knees and kiss the ground, no matter how thankful to be on land I was.

Because, you know, I would be kissing all kinds of putrid stuff.

…

Imagine having your first kiss with a decaying piece of fish. gags

All of a sudden, we turned and saw…a little girl? She was dark-skinned, probably of African descent. Maybe she was a shipwrecked servant-to-be, I don't know. I wasn't doubtful, seeing as Hayes was the only black man I knew that had even a semi-respectable job.

Carl was shocked to see her. And when Carl Denham is shocked, he does very, very stupid things.

He held out a Nestle candy bar, offering it to the little girl. I was more than a bit incredulous. She looked slightly scary and otherworldly, everyone thought so, and here was Denham, offering her candy? He was not to be reasoned with, despite Jack's attempts. He forced it into her hand, and she suddenly jerkaed from her still state.

Thrashing around violently, she ran off to an old woman who we failed to see before. Ann, Jack, Mike and I shared an apprehensive look. Suddenly, Mike's face went slack, and a low grunt escaped from him. We looked him over. Sticking out of his chest was a bloody spear. Ann and I looked at each other and screamed as loud as we could.

All of a sudden, we were surrounded by dark, savage looking men. I guess that's a bit redundant, most dark men look a bit…well, dark. We watched, horrified, as Mike's body fell to the ground.

After that, everything was a blur. We were being attacked from all sides, grabbed and tossed and hit over the head. Ann was clinging to Jack for dear life, screaming and crying. I saw the natives drag a sailor who'd come with us to a rock, holding him down as he struggled to no avail. A native with a few disturbing piercings held up a strange club. It was covered in blood. He let out a yell, and brought the club down on the poor sailor's head. I watched tearfully as the man stopped moving.

Having never been in the middle of a mess of violent natives, it was then that I did the most stupid thing you could ever do: I backed into a wall. Three tall, muscular men noticed my position, and growled. I squealed pitifully. As they closed in on me, I noticed only one other thing. Ann was being approached by the same old woman that was with the little girl. She was speaking, though I couldn't hear her over the yells surrounding me. I turned my attention back to the three men running towards me, when I heard one of the sounds that filled my heart with hope and relief.

Gunfire.

The natives turned their attention to one of their own, who was knocked back by the force of the bullets. I, however, turned my attention to the shooter himself, and found myself swooning involuntarily. Captain Englehorn looked so intense and heroic and breath-taking at the moment; eyes narrow, stance military.

sigh

The natives scattered. Denham was scrambling up from the same rock that the sailor was killed on; obviously Englehorn was just in time for him. Ann was silently sobbing, and Jack was panting and sweating profusely. I looked around at the now-empty area around us. Englehorn approached Denham.

"Seen enough?"

Well, I had, that was for sure.

Back on the Venture, Englehorn was furious. He'd yelled at Denham for leaving the ship and for Mike's death, scolded Jack, and fixed Ann with a decidedly unfriendly glare. As for me, he just gave me the look I absolutely hated: silent disappointment. I felt so uncomfortable and awkward under this gaze(as usual) that I just _had_ to say something to fill the silence.

"I didn't know what was going on, I had no idea that-"

"It was Carl Denham and his damned camera, do you honestly have _no_ idea what was going to happen? And you're weaker now, thanks to your little trip overboard."

"Weak_er?_" I asked, slightly miffed, "Was I weak before?"

"You are a well-bred woman," he replied in a voice which said that he predicted an argument, "I don't believe that you've ever had to work hard, let alone face a near-death experience."

"Are you getting at that Mary Jane thing again?" I asked, pouring as much venom as I could into my words.

"No," he said shortly, "But nonetheless, you are not a worker by nature. Back to the point, you should know not to trust Denham. He is a desperate man; he doesn't care how many people get hurt now."

I nodded, not wanting to get upset with him again. It looked to me that he didn't want it either. I felt that this was a good time to…make my feelings somewhat known.

For the people who don't understand what I mean, I was going to hit on him.

SUBTLY, of course.

"You seem to care a lot about my well being, Lukas," I said, adjusting my voice to sound like a soft purr. He started at my use of his first name, staring at me like I was some kind of telepath.

Which was a bit hypocritical, because I still refuse to believe he is not in the _least_ bit telepathical.

Then again, he might have been somewhat appalled at my attempt at a subtle line, since I admit that it was the worst attempt ever attempted.

He regained his composure, letting his eyes become hard and unyielding once more.

"It is in my nature to be protective of people who have no inkling of how to protect themselves."

Oooooh, _burn_.

In all honestly, I had never felt like a more complete and total loser. I turned bright red, knowing that he'd seen through my feeble act of smoothness. I nodded absently, wanting nothing more than to leave the room immediately. He motioned toward the door, letting me know I could go. I sighed embarrassingly audibly, rushing out of the room and breaking into a sprint as I rounded the corner. I was not there to see Englehorn's hilariously raised eyebrow, and then his small smile.

On my way, I bumped into Jimmy. A man was not what I wanted to see right then, even one such as young, somewhat innocent Jimmy. He opened his mouth to say hello, but instead looked dumbfounded when I ran past him.

Finally, I found what I was looking for. An understanding soul, one whose opinion meant everything…

Lumpy.

Okay, so he maybe wasn't such an understanding soul or whatever, but his opinion and mood alwaysinfluenced the porridge in someway. _Always_.

Besides, I heard that he was good at the whole advice thing, since he was who everyone went to.

"Lumpy," I panted, "I…have…a problem." He put out his cigarette and motioned for me to sit. I did, and he joined me, turning the chair backwards and settling into it.

"I…well…what would you do if you had _no idea_ whether someone felt anything for you, because they were nice and caring and then cold and had some freaky-deaky superiority complex!"

"Ah," he said knowingly, "In love with the captain, eh?"

"What! How do you…why do you think…not necessarily _in love_, but…"

"Listen, the way I see it, 'e don't think you like 'im all that much either. Most of us've got this thing about rich people, we think they're all snobby jackarses, see? So for all we know, 'e might think you're the same, even after that whole fight that everyone knows about," he paused to recoil at my enraged stare, "O-Or, since the rest of us've got over our prejudices and whatnot, he might feel the same and 'e just thinks that you would turn him away."

"Exactly! So that might be the reason for the double-personality, but I'm…well, I am pretty sure he knows how I feel now."

"Whatcha do?"

I sighed. Turning slightly red, I told him about what I'd said. To my chagrin, he looked as if he was just barely holding in his laughter.

"Well then, I think that he _does_ know your feelings. But he _did_ admit that 'e was protective of you, am I right?"

"Yes…" I answered, anticipating where he was going.

"Well, maybe 'e added on the insulting bit to throw you off. Everyone knows 'e ain't…the most emotional guy, you know?"

"But why?"

"'Cuz he don't wanna get hurt anymore." I looked up and saw Hayes, the first mate.

"Anymore? When was he hurt?" Lumpy shook his head at Hayes, but Hayes looked at me.

"He wasn't always here, on this tramp steamer. He wasn't always lower class."

I imagined a rich Englehorn, drinking tea and hunting in the German forests.

Woahhhh…

"He was an officer in the German Navy; pretty high up and pretty eligible."

"Ah," I said. I knew this type. A military man who was popular with the ladies, but not interested in anything but his job. Like that Claudio in that Shakespeare thing.

"Pretty soon, though, he met a girl. She was rich, like him, and came from a good family. He stopped caring so much for only his job, and fell in love. I don't know the whole story, but I _do _know that they were engaged for a while. But there was another guy who wanted her. He was higher up than the Captain, rich and foreign, too."

"And her family broke their engagement so she could marry the other man," I said. It happened all the time in my world.

"Yeah. And his mother was getting hitched too, since his father died. His stepfather turned out to be a real bastard, though. So he goes to a dock, looking for a way escape this whole thing, and he met a guy who worked on this very boat." Hayes stopped and sat down. Lumpy continued.

"Me and Hayes knew 'im before the old Cap'n died and left 'im the Venture, and let me tell you, he was the prissiest Navy man we'd ever seen," Lumpy laughed, "Actually, he's the reason we think so little o' rich folk."

I giggled and thought of Englehorn screaming like a girl.

I had heard a little about his past that night when I cleaned that cage with him, but I never thought we'd be so similar.

"So basically, he don't like rich people 'cuz he knows for himself what they're like," Hayes said, "He's a lot like you."

"Yes…" I said.

"And he's probably scared of getting hurt. He has a lot of pride."

"I understand," I said softly, "Thanks for your advice, Lumpy. You too, Mr. Hayes."

And with that, I walked back to my cage to think.

Lumpy turned to Hayes.

"I don't know 'ow long the two of 'em will go on like this."

"I know. If all of us can see it, why can't they?"

END.

I just want to say that I MEANT to make the whole native thing racially offensive. I just figured that no matter what, Scarlett had been raised in a lifestyle where whites were superior. I plan to make her grow out of that, so please don't hate her.


	20. Transexualification

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 15: Transexualification

Finally! Thanks for understanding the lack of updates. I'm not gonna make you wait any longer, here it is!

"Ann?" I whispered as I peeked into her room. I heard a high-pitched shriek, and then a small commotion of sheets rustling and buckles clanking. To my extreme amusement and surprise, Jack appeared, disheveled and panting, and slipped past me with his proverbial tail between his legs.

"Ann? What _exactly_ were you doing?" I asked, fearing the worst.

"Not…_that,_" she replied, blushing and rearranging her skirt idly, "We were…"

"Kissing?"

"Scarlett!" she exclaimed at my boldness, turning even redder. I grinned. I had become very bold since begging for passage on this ship.

_Too bold_, my mind told me, forcing me to remember my pathetic attempt to chat up Lukas. I cringed quite noticeably.

"Scarlett, are you alright?" Ann's embarrassment was overcome by curiosity.

"I, uh, did somethin' stupid."

Now it was my turn to blush fiercely.

"I…I, um…_I hit on Captain Englehorn!_" My brain, however, shouted Lukas. Ever since calling him by his first name, I couldn't help but no longer think of him as Englehorn.

"You _what?_" She squealed, "What did he say?"

"Well, I said that he seemed to care a lot about my well-being…"

"Yes? And?"

"He said that he only did it because I didn't know how to protect myself!" I whispered urgently, taking a seat on Ann's bed.

"That's awful!" Ann exclaimed, taking one of my hands in her own, "But, you know, I always thought that you liked him. You'd make a nice couple, you and-"

"Stop, Ann," I said firmly, "It won't happen. I know now that he's not interested. God, what the heck was I thinking?" I slapped my forehead, continuing my tirade of self-loathing until we heard the door creak open. John, a crewmember I'd become familiar with, edged into the room with a horrified expression on his face. At first, Ann and I were scandalized at his uninvited entrance. Then, to our horror -and probably John's- one of the men from the island stepped out from behind him. He was truly freaky-looking; pierced in the most unlikely places (and probably the most painful) and dripping wet. He glared down at us and reached for a knife strapped to his dark thigh.

I tried my best to scream, but my voice had left me. The tribal man, quick as lightning, stabbed John in the neck. I watched to poor man fall to the ground, dead before the sickening _thud_. Ann's scared eyes met mine as we both waited to die.

Now, I know many of you are asking yourselves, _why are they just waiting? It's time for some girlpower, _But I can assure you, when you are approached by a man who had killed two men you knew that same day, girlpower will be the last thing on your mind.

Scary-Tribal-Man darted to the bed we were frozen on and grabbed Ann. She finally unfroze, struggling and fighting tooth and nail. I, on the other hand, had found my voice.

"AAAAAANN!" I screamed. Scary-Tribal-Man threw me a withering look, stealing my voice once again. I stared in stricken silence as he approached me. I winced, but kept my eyes open. He put a finger to his lips; and then raised his hand.

After he had knocked me unconscious, he fled from the room, silent as the grave.

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"Scarlett! Scarlett!" I opened my eyes and squinted in the sudden light. Jack knelt over me with a rushed and frightened look on his face.

"Jack, wha-…" I remembered my encounter with Scary-Tribal-Man and sat up sharply. Clutching my head and groaning, I lowered myself down to my elbows. I stared for a moment at John's bloody corpse, shuddered, and then raised my eyes to meet Jack's.

"They took her."

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"CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN!" Jack shouted as he approached the bridge. I felt my arm begin to strain from his pull.

Needless to say, I was _not_ enthusiastic about seeing Lu-CAPTAIN ENGLEHORN- so soon.

Luk… -ENGLEHORN- looked down at us and frowned slightly.

"We can't leave! They took her! Ann!" Englehorn looked down at me, shivering and noticeably still in shock from the event, and growled quite frustratedly. He turned and gave new orders to his crew, telling them to gather their ammunition and weapons.

Englehorn looked down at me again and raised his eyebrows. I couldn't bear to meet his gaze, but I followed it to my upper torso.

I screamed inside.

Unfortunately, in my frightened frenzy, I'd gone out into the pounding rain wearing a loose, white shirt. Even more unfortunately, I was wearing black undergarments. The effect was a perfect peep-show of my bra.

Which, let me tell you, was the _last _thing I needed right then.

Turning bright red, I held my shirt away from me and ran down to my enclosure to change.

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I came up on deck wearing a slightly dressy silk shirt, since I was not up to asking Jimmy to borrow more of his clothes. My boots and pants were still unchanged. Also, I'd added a cap to keep my hair -which was getting ruined by the exposure to the sea and humid air- under control.

Jimmy approached me warily, as if trying to sneak up on me.

"Scarlett, Jack's over there if you're lookin'" he said, pointing to a disheveled and worried looking man leaning on the ship's railing, "Why've you got that fancy shirt on?"

"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies," I said. Then, deciding to be honest, I spoke again,

"The rain soaked through my shirt, and...let's just say that things…that shouldn't be seen…were seen."

Jimmy looked to tired and apprehensive to crack up, which made me glad.

"Lumpy told me what you said to the Captain." He said. My eyes widened. I had half a mind to go over to Lumpy and tell him where he could stick his damned porridge…

"Don't kill me, please," Jimmy continued, "But I think you should keep hoping."

"Why are you so interested in my hopes?"

"Because…because I wanna see ya happy. I know you'd never like me, and I don't wanna let that ruin our friendship."

"Wait a second…you liked me?" He grasped the ship's railing and looked out to the horizon, keeping hidden his blush.

"Yeah. B-but I'm just your friend now. I think you and Englehorn would be good together anyway."

"That's what Ann said," I replied, letting my mind worry about my friend. Where was she? Was she alright? Did they kill her? Eat her?

Ew. Roast Ann.

I cringed and gagged a bit. Jimmy had gone, leaving me alone to think about poor Ann Darrow.

I heard heavy footfall, and I turned abruptly toward whoever was approaching, wiping my eyes furiously. My heart dropped when I saw Lukas come to stand by me.

"You are to stay on the ship with Jimmy. Mr. Hayes has forbidden him to go as well." His shortness and slightly hard voice infuriated me.

"But…I need to help Ann!" He mimicked my position, leaning on the railing with his elbows.

"You will be helping her by staying alive. She wouldn't like to come back only to learn that you are dead, I think," he stood up straight and left me there, walking back to Hayes to discuss their plan of action. I scoffed and joined them, now fuming.

"Excuse, me,_ Lukas,_" I spat, now using his name to goad him, "I think you are underestimating me! I can be of use, I know it?"

"Miss Harker, you are not a sailor, you are not a military man, you are not a _man_ of any kind," he answered, looking at me coldly, "You cannot shoot, nor can you navigate through a jungle. You cannot survive out there, and we both know it."

"Well…Well…you couldn't either at first!" I exclaimed, forgetting my place entirely, "I know about who you were once! You were rich and inexperienced just like me!"

"How do you know that?" he hissed, stepping closer and succeeding in intimidating me.

"I've heard things around, that's how I know your name, too. But I know I can help Captain!"

"You will stay here with Jimmy. No more discussion." He strode away, barking orders and passing guns to shipmates.

If only my mother was like him…I would never have to worry about being intimidated or scared. In fact, I would be quite dead inside.

Still fuming, I went to find Jimmy. He looked almost as angry as I was.

"This isn't fair," he whined, "we're adults, just like them!"

"But we're smaller and younger adults. Plus, I'm a _woman,_" I ended my sentence with a mocking sneer, "and_ women_ can't do anything." Jimmy looked up sharply and smiled.

"But men can." I cocked an eyebrow, letting his smile infect me with a sense of giddiness.

"I bet I know exactly what's going on in that genius head…" I laughed.

It was a pretty evil laugh, let me tell you.

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"I am a boy," I said to myself in Jimmy's mirror, ignoring his sniggers. I lowered my voice comically, repeating myself.

"I am a boy."

Jimmy lay on his bed, panting after his peal of laughter, and mocked me.

"_I_ am a _genius_."

I nodded, dusting off the sleeves of another of his work shirts which covered my silk shirt and bound chest (which I had accomplished in the privacy of the privy). My dark hair was tucked into my cap, and I had to admit, I looked very much like a boy.

"That you are, Jimmy my boy," I replied in my lower voice, turning stern, "But now we have work to do."

END.

That quote where Englehorn said:

Miss Harker, you are not a sailor, you are not a military man, you are not a _man_ of any kind.

Is not mine. I took the idea from POTC and changed it a little.

Don't sue me, I like my money.


	21. Discoveries

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 16: Discoveries

Sorry about being late, but I have other stories to update and I am really busy with a bunch of projects. Again, I'm sorry!

Marinawings: I love you. Not…in an ew-internet-stalker way, I just love you because you review almost all my stories. And yes, you rhymed! You're a poet and you didn't even know it! Also, I think some "lip-action" is well on its way! -Englehorn looks hilariously scared in a corner, hugging a plushie of himself-

Aur0ra: hehe, I'm glad you found that funny. Snaps for me! -stops snapping when no one else does-

Whisperwings: omg you speak more Spanish than I do! -pouts jealously-

Aljinon: Don't worry, more Scarlett/Lukas scenes coming right up! -Englehorn passes out on account of secret fear of cooties-

SliverOfExistance: haha, I love yelling things like that at a soap opera. "No! She doesn't love you! Don't touch that robot! NOOOO!"… No, I'm not crazy -shifty eyes- -Englehorn laughs and opens his mouth to reveal how crazy I _really_ am, but I tackle him with super ninja technique-

Okay, on with the story!

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_I am a boy, I am a boy, I am a boy…_

I was pretty sure I didn't walk like one, though. My years of being trained to stand up straight and wiggle my hips subtly had taken their toll, and never did I regret it as much as I did then.

_They might think I'm GAY!_

I started to panic quite noticeably. Jimmy was at my side, and noticed my sudden attempt to slouch and take big steps.

"Why do you look like a giant ape?"

"Wha-? Oh, I'm trying to walk like you." Jimmy raised his eyebrows.

"Do I really look that _stupid?_" I flushed for a second, but regained my composure.

"Guess I'm not doing such a good job, huh?" He smirked.

"Nope. Here, I'll teach you to walk like a man, talk like a man, and even _spit _like a man."

How exciting!

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As we trekked through dense jungle, I felt dirty and smelly and sweaty and determined. At the time, I thought to myself, _maybe I AM turning into a man_!

But whenever Lukas caught my eye, I felt that girlish (and somewhat relieving) rush of feeling. It lingered in my cheeks long after he'd looked away.

Jimmy –and now Jack, whom we'd told about our identities- were always near me, watching. This irked me a little; I was far from acting how I would've a few weeks ago, shrieking and squealing at ants or decayed leaves.

_Ohmigod! What's that? Ew, ohmigosh, GROSS!_

…well, maybe not _all_ that far.

Lukas called a five-minute break barely a moment before my legs collapsed beneath me. My day-long shopping trips in heels could never compare to this. I tried in vain to slow my breathing, mostly on account of Lukas's looks. Every time our eyes met, no matter how briefly, my heart rate would skyrocket.

_Damn you, Captain-….oh no…_

He was heading for me. My face reddened up to the cloth hat I wore, identical to Jimmy's. Several images of the captain pulling me to my feet and kissing me for all he was worth ran through my mind. It was just after that when I remembered I was supposed to be a boy, and is Lukas kissed me then…well, I would never have to worry about him liking Ann, as I'd secretly dreaded, or any _other_ girl.

(AN: In the movie, when Englehorn said that thing about risks to Ann before they cast off, I was like: OH! Romantic undercurrents!)

"Scarlett," Lukas's statement caused my eyes to widen and my heart to melt at his voice. Apparently, exhaustion makes the heart grow fonder.

"Who-"I paused, realizing that I hadn't used my "man" voice, "Who's Scarlett?"

"You can stop the charade, I'm not blind," he said icily. He very obviously was, if he couldn't see my flush, which was not caused even a little bit from exertion.

"How'd you know it was me?" I asked, feeling both senses of failure and happiness at being able to revert back to my normal voice.

"Your face does not resemble a boy's in the least," his tone was not cold; I didn't know what it was, "No boy looks like that."

A thought struck me. Was he calling me pretty?

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked coyly, trying to lure him into a trap.

"It means-…it just means that _you_ are going back to the _ship_."

Oooh, nice dodge, Captain.

"No I'm not, you wouldn't turn around just to bring me there."

"Yes, I would. Your safety is important to-…"

"Hmm? To whom?" His jaw set, and he looked down on me with a fierce expression. I bit my lip, waiting for him to say something nasty to me, like he did whenever I tried to act smart or coy around him.

He leant down and grasped my arm firmly, causing me to melt slightly.

"We need to talk."

Oh no! The Forbidden Words. He was using them and we weren't even in a relationship yet!

He led me away from the group after telling Hayes to mind everyone. Stopping just out of the crew's line of vision, he turned to me and sent me into a blush I will never forget. It burned like Lumpy's porridge fresh from the stove.

"Why do you do this? Why do you make everything difficult? You complain about work, you slack off, you act like a complete fool! And you expect me to believe that you will be safe out here?"

My blush was gone. I felt humiliated for some unknown reason. He stared at me with those blue, blue eyes, waiting for an answer.

"I…don't know."

"Yes! You don't know! You don't know what you're doing out here? You don't know how to survive!"

"Well, you said yourself, you'll protect whoever has no idea how to protect themselves! You're here!" I didn't even try to defend myself. I couldn't. I really had no clue about survival; everything I'd ever needed was handed to my on a silver- no, _gold_ platter.

"You think I will stand by you every second and forget about my crew? They need a leader, Scarlett!"

"I just need _you!_" Oh no. That came out all wrong. That came out so so so so so so so so so so god damn wrong. Just before a long string of "ohmigods" came out of my mouth, he spoke.

"You have me, Scarlett. Right now. What do you want from me?" I didn't want to speak, that's for sure. So I did the only thing I knew was appropriate in that situation, from what I'd seen in plays and films all my life.

As I pressed my lips up to his, I knew this was much more serious, much more real, than any film.

END.

Yay! Lip-action! I am sorry it took so long, I just needed the best way to bring it about. It's probably still not that great, but I gave up thinking, as my brain was starting to fry. Review, I really want to know what you think!

Wahh Tchaaaa!

Ninja Stealth Noise


	22. Finally

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 17: Finally

Please don't impale me, I've been really busy with "Oliver" rehearsals and Honor Choir and science homework. I'm falling all over myself! Anyway, I've FINALLY got another chapter out! Let's see if el Capitan kisses back, shall we?

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As her lips pressed into his, Lukas Englehorn had no idea how he didn't see it coming.

Honestly, it wasn't as if she was ever subtle or anything.

But instead of pulling away, he felt a sense of relief, as if a near-impossible goal had just been reached.

_Finally…_

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_Finally…_

I felt his own lips respond, felt a light sigh from his chest where I had laid my hand. He quickly closed the gap between us; his kisses became more fervent, but still tender. I ran my fingers up his broad, muscled chest and settled them behind his neck. My foot rose up off the ground as I let my fingers toy with the stray hairs at the nape of his neck. The giant butterflies in my stomach almost exploded as he let his strong arms encircle my waist. I had to suppress a wide grin as I realized I wasn't dreaming.

It was my first real kiss, not from my mother, not from my uncle's nephew's sister's daughter's cousin three times removed, but from a man.

I was most surprised when he slowly pulled away. Did he change his mind?

"Hayes will come looking for us shortly," he said softly. My mind gave a sigh of relief.

"We should get back, then," I said.

"Yes," I made to turn away and walk back to the rest of the crew, but he grabbed my arm and turned me toward him. I savored the feeling of him touching me.

"Scarlett," Lukas said, "we mustn't make…"

"Us?" I offered.

"Yes…us, known yet." I understood. He would lose face in front of his crew to a degree if they knew he'd fallen for a rich stowaway like me. He would look less like the untouchable and mighty Captain Englehorn. A leader's reputation is important; it determines the likeliness of rebellion.

Besides, I could imagine that Hayes would never stop teasing.

I nodded and he let go of my arm. We walked back to the crew in silence.

By the time we got back, the kiss had finally taken its full toll on me; my inner Scarlett was doing a crazy –and probably physically impossible- victory dance. I had to keep my head down hide my wide smile.

Sadly, there was one problem. Lukas hadn't thought of what it would look like if he and I had come out from behind the trees together. Even worse, we both failed to remember that to everyone else, I was a boy.

_When I recall this moment later in life I will slap myself,_ I thought. I could hear the whispers and mumblings of some crew members whose minds were far down the gutter.

"I always thought he was queer…"

"Looks like the Captain's come out of the closet…"

"Thank God it wasn't me he dragged with him…"

"Sweet Leviathan, I'm goin' ta have some nasty nightmares…"

"Now we know why he was squealin' like a girl before 'e was Cap'n…"

I felt the urge to stand up for my Captain, but that felt out of the question. I sensed him bristle, for he undoubtedly heard the low murmur around the crew.

"Men," he called out, and I distinctly heard his voice drop a few notes and rise a few decibels, as if to prove his heterosexuality, "Break time is over. On your feet, all of you."

A collective groan came from the men before us. I rushed to find Jimmy. When I did, he was barely suppressing a grin.

"I'm glad I knew you weren't a guy, or I'd be scarred for life."

"Oh, shut it, you." I snapped. I felt myself turning red at his words.

"Did you enjoy yourself with the Captain?" he sniggered. I slapped his arm.

"Yes, I did," I retorted, knowing exactly how to shut him up. It did the trick, or so I could see from the snapping shut of his jaw and the widening of his eyes.

"The others see a different picture, Scarlett," he said quietly as we began to walk alongside the crew. I looked ahead to where Lukas was. He was obviously trying to stay away so our new relationship wasn't discovered.

_Too late for that, Lukas,_ I thought to myself in a sing-song voice. My inner Scarlett was now rolling her eyes and sighing.

"Jimmy?"

"Mmhmmm?"

"Do you think we make a good pair?"

"You and the Captain?"

"No, stupid, me and that dinosaur." I drawled sarcastically. Jimmy looked annoyed, and then realized what I had just said. Both our eyes widened and we wheeled around to see a herd of the largest dinosaurs we'd ever seen.

…

Well, actually it was the _only_ herd of dinosaurs we'd ever seen.

"RUN!" Jimmy bellowed, alerting the rest of the crew. It was a wonder that none of us had felt the ground shake under their massive footfalls. We broke into a frenzied sprint along the river valley where we had chosen to rest. The alcove of rock where Lukas and I had kissed was covered with rock knocked loose from above. I struggled to keep up with Jimmy.

As nausea was setting in, I noticed two men running behind us. I looked around and saw Bruce Baxter and Carl Denham, who was struggling to hold his camera and tripod, running away from the hulking beasts that were catching up with every stride.

I should never have let myself look back. I soon felt myself trip over a rock or a root or something, and stretched out my arms to grab onto something that wasn't there. As soon as I hit the hard, rocky ground, I felt myself rise in the air. I was thrown over someone's shoulder. I had a good view of the dinosaurs chasing us from my perch atop the person's shoulder, and, to my horror, the tall, long-necked dinosaurs weren't the only things racing behind us. Raptors had joined the chase, eyes alert and searching for smaller, slower-moving prey.

Unfortunately, we humans all fell under that category.

I closed my eyes as the person carrying me pitched left and right, dodging the raptor's attacks as deftly as he could. It went on and on like this until my rescuer began to slow down. We would be trampled! Or worse, eaten! I opened my eyes to see what would kill me.

…

What!

The long-necks had collapsed in a pile, crushing the raptors. I put my hands -which I saw were bleeding from their impact with the ground before- together and thanked the God, Buddha, and the patron god of escaping from dinosaurs for our luck.

I felt the person under me (sounds dirty, I know) lower me to the ground. I looked up to see…

Jack Driscoll.

"Hopin' for Englehorn, weren't you?" I flushed, predicting that neither he nor Jimmy would ever let me live that moment down.

"Why would I? It's not like I care about him, I'm a _boy_." I responded, hoping he would take the hint.

"Of course, how silly of me," he grinned. I smiled softly and stretched out my hand.

"Thanks for saving me, Jack." He shook my hand and then drew me closer.

"I'm glad that tension between you and Englehorn is finally over," he whispered in my ear. He pulled away and left me dumbfounded by his comment. Did _everyone_ know about how we felt about each other?

I looked over to a large group of the crew who were whispering and pointing at me, like gossiping girls at finishing school.

They might not all know about Lukas and I, but I was pretty sure they all knew about their captain and the scrawny boy no one recognized.

End.

I hope y'all like the kissing scene; it was kind of hard to write for me. I've never done something like that before. Review, please? I REALLY want feedback on this one.


	23. Abduction

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 18: Abduction

Hey, sorry about the lack of updates, I've been focusing on other stories and schoolwork. As some of you have noticed, Englehorn was NOT with the crew in the dinosaur scene in the movie, I just decided that I'd let him come along instead of leavin' him to die of boredom on the Venture. Just wanted to clear that up for ya.

Also, Scarlett's gonna come upon some danger of her own, so be warned.

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"Four dead, Captain," said Hayes, keeping a cautious eye on Lukas's groin area, "Herb, José, Kyle, and Griffin."

I looked sadly at my friends from the crew and Denham's associate, Herb. They didn't deserve to die like that. However, Carl didn't seem too bothered by the loss of his friend.

Well, maybe "friend" is going a bit too far. But still, he was one of the only people who talked to Denham.

"At least we can say their deaths were hardly boring," he said, provoking me into slapping him across the face.

"YOU MONSTER!" I cried, forgetting my cover completely. The crew –what remained of it, anyway- all stared in my direction.

"Miss Harker?" Hayes questioned.

I wasn't surprised by the collective sigh of relief that sounded when I nodded embarrassedly. The crew was probably more than happy to realize that their Captain wasn't messing about with a boy as they'd previously thought.

"Scarlett, what the hell're you doin' here?" He asked angrily, but I could detect a strong note of relief in his voice that mimicked the rest of the crew.

"So Scarlett was the boy all along?" asked a loud crewmember called Moritz, who was obviously a tad slower than his peers. I nodded again, and tried to smile in spite of the situation. My attempt faltered shortly, as Englehorn looked like thunder on an already overcast day.

Which I really didn't understand. I mean, yes, our secret was out, but it was better that they knew I was a girl, instead of them thinking their leader was a fancy lad.

He obviously didn't realize this, so instead of being happy, he frowned in a way that definitely hinted at a breakup. I felt my heart drop. What if he changed his mind? It seems a bit too soon to be fretting so, but I felt for him so much!

He beckoned me over with a nod of his handsome head, instilling in me a sense of dread.

"Scarlett," he said softly, pressing his hand into the small of my back and leading me behind a tree. Thankfully, he seemed understanding with me, as I'd hoped.

"Yes Lukas?"

"You shouldn't have lost yourself there-" I interrupted shortly.

"Well at least now they know you're straight." He accepted this and drew me closer. I relished the close contact between him and me, that is, before the giant rope net dropped over us.

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"Scarlett! Wake up!" I glared against the light shining in my eyes, looking around for Lukas.

"Lukas? Where-"

"We are back with the natives," he said quietly. My eyes widened until they felt like they would pop out.

"H-how?" I whispered. He shrugged clumsily and gave a weak struggle against his bonds. I looked around. We were tied up and lying on the ground, looking up into the dark sky. I guessed that there was a large bonfire a little ways away from our feet, judging by the faint light and heat.

"I don't know Scarlett, I don't know…" I felt tears welling up inside me, but I refused to cry.

_I can't…not in front of Lukas…_

I had no chance to cry in front of him, for at that moment, a pair of tribal women grasped me under the arms and dragged me off, kicking and screaming, toward a large tent.

They pushed me down to the ground and covered my mouth to muffle my screams. I was still flailing around, egged on by the sound of Lukas yelling my name. My heart dropped when I saw him dragged away by two men, with no gun or knife to serve him well.

"Lukas! Lukas! Let me _GO!_" I fought against the women surrounding me. They called a few men to restrain me and carry my still-struggling form outside to a set of tall, wooden posts. They tied me to one and left me to scream wildly, never letting my tears escape me.

I watched angrily as several of the natives danced barbarically around their giant fire.

_Were we to be burned?_

I saw some old native crones gathered around a small lake that went down a tunnel and into the sea. I recognized the skulls lining the tunnel.

_Were we to be drowned?_

I had no idea. It's pretty scary, having no idea how you're going to die, but knowing that you'll die soon.

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A day passed. I slept little, and only out of exhaustion. I waited to die, wondering where Lukas was and whether he was alright. I wasn't hungry. I wasn't thirsty either. The hours went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on until I the words "and on" grew to sound strange inside my head.

The sun set in a violent burst of color. Before I knew it night had fallen, and I shrank into the shadows. The native men often turned to me and pointed, speaking in their tongue of clicks and hoarse rattles. One wielded a large bone cleaver.

At least I didn't have to wonder how I was going to die anymore…

I watched as a stooped figure hobbled over to me, wincing with every step the lumpy silhouette took.

An old woman that I recognized ever so faintly emerged from the dark and waved a bowl of something sweet and smoky under my nose. I felt myself growing weary…

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I opened my eyes, remembering a very life-like nightmare about being abducted by natives and being separated from Lukas. My face was wet.

"I had to wake you," Lukas said, and as soon as I saw the cuts on his forearms and eyebrow I realized my nightmare was not a nightmare at all, "You would be a burden if you remained unconscious."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"Not at all," he answered, looking very impatient, "Come; they might be coming after us."

I reminded myself to ask him how we'd escaped later. At that moment, we needed to run.

I watched the leafy fronds blur alongside me as I ran. I tried to make a game out of it and see if I could make them blur more the faster I ran.

"Lukas," I gasped between ragged breaths. He looked at me, telling me with his eyes that I should go on.

"We need to stop and rest," I panted, "Or we'll soon run ourselves into unconsciousness."

He slowed and came to lean against a tall tree that was five times his width. I sat next to his legs and looked up at him, admiring his profile in the little light that there was. His brows were furrowed; he appeared to be in deep thought. I counted the awkward minutes until my breathing slowed and grew steady.

"Are you alright," Lukas asked quietly. He knelt and examined my face and neck, almost hesitating.

Which was kind of confusing, seeing as we were officially together and he shouldn't have been hesitant at all.

Maybe he really _did_ think I was fat!

"Scarlett," Lukas said, even more quietly than before, "Do you…do you think-"

"Is the great, articulate Captain Englehorn finally tongue-tied?" He shook his head, failing to see the humor in my comment. I suddenly felt the need to make him smile.

"Scarlett, you can't possibly be think that you want to spend your life with me…"

…

And I always thought men couldn't talk about relationships…

"Lukas, what are you talking about? I...I-"

"Don't you dare say you love me," he said, once again the hard and distant Captain I first met.

The tears I'd been holding in since we'd been captured were fighting to break free, and I let out a quiet gasp.

"Lukas, what is making you do this?"

"You will not be safe with me. You are too young to understand, but know that if you stay with me, you will never be happy."

He forced my tears through their barriers then. I tried my hardest to act mature and uncaring, but not many twenty-year-olds are gifted in that department.

"Why?! Don't you feel anything for me? I don't understand! Was it all some joke?!"

"No, Scarlett," he said sharply, as though he was hurt by my words.

Of course, it wasn't possible that he was hurt, because he obviously had no heart.

I drew my knees close and hugged them, feeling more like a child than ever.

How could I have fallen for him? How could I trust him?

I tried everything to understand, I tried to persuade him into admitting that he _did_ care for me.

"You DO care for me, I know you do! You want to be with me, just like I want to be with you!"

"You are too young," he seemed to grow quieter, which angered me.

"HOW DARE YOU BE SO CALM! YOU-STANDING THERE- YOU JUST-"

"DO YOU THINK I AM DOING THIS BECAUSE I DON'T CARE FOR YOU?!" He leapt up, grabbing my wrist, "I DO! I REFUSE TO SEE YOU HURT! Please…"

He let go of me, letting me fall back and hit the muddy ground with a soft _fwump_.

"For two days now I've bided my time, killing myself thinking over where you were, if you were safe." I looked down at the hem of my pants, remembering that I had done the same for him. A few seconds passed, filled only with the sound of his breath and one horrifying crack of a twig that turned out to be from a small, scaly lizard.

"I've changed my mind," he said, eliciting a sharp, optimistic turn of the head from me, "You are not too young to understand. You _are, _however, too young for me. Scarlett-"

"I know," I said. The disappointment of thinking he'd changed his mind about telling me we couldn't be together and then hearing him decide to give me more reasons why it couldn't work had opened some box of maturity in me.

"I know, Lukas, it can't work." I wiped my damp face on my sleeve and got up, ignoring the hand Lukas had offered. I would get up myself from now on.

Luka-Captain Englehorn- cleared his throat and motioned to a gap in the trees that I hadn't noticed. It the tunnel leading to the sea was near.

"We should get back," I said to myself. We began to walk toward the hole in the hundred-foot-wall that was our escape, three meters apart at all times. When we reached the tunnel, he stood at attention and looked at me.

"After you, Miss Harker."

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END.

This chapter makes me kinda sad…if you want to make me happy enough to update soon, you'll review!


	24. Every Inch The Child I'd Always Been

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 19: Every Inch The Child I'd Always Been

Dude, SO SORRY that I didn't update sooner. Feel free to flame as much as you want.

Anyways, you've been waiting long enough, so…

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I spent the entire next day crying, feeling every inch the child _he_ thought I was.

_Look at me…**listen** to me, I can't even think his name!_

I cried and sniffled and tried to wipe away the tears with the yellowed sheets over the bale of hay in my cage. The sheets were the only material I had that was still dry. Nothing kept the tears at bay, and hearing constant concerns about Jack, Lumpy, Jimmy, Hayes, and Ann –_especially _Ann- didn't make me feel any better.

The porridge that _he_ had given me the night before had gone cold and filled my nostrils with the stench of stale walnuts. It made me think of the bed and gourmet cuisine I used to have at home, and the thought of home made me think of my mother, and the thought of my mother made me homesick.

_Schlaf, Kindchen, schlaf! Dein Vater hüt't die Schaf. Die Mutter schüttelt's Bäumelein, da fällt herab ein Träumelein... _

I remembered the German lullaby my father sang to me before he passed away, and cried even harder. I cried so hard that I found it hard to think of a time when I _wasn't_ crying.

"_Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf. _

_So schenk ich dir ein Schaf._

_Mit einer goldnen Schelle fein, _

_Das soll dein Spielgeselle sein_," I sang shakily between pitiful sniffles,

"_Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf_."

"I didn't know you knew German, "_he_ said quietly.

"I don't, "I took a deep breath to keep calm, "My father did."

"I see," he sounded very awkward.

"W-why are you here?" I asked him softly.

"You need to eat," he began to pass me another bowl of porridge through the bars of my cage, but he stopped when he saw that the first bowl was untouched.

"Maybe you are not hungry," he said, a new tone becoming fairly obvious in his voice.

"Have the others come back yet?"

"No, they…they are still on the island." He and I sighed in unison.

"What will you do?"

"I shall have to find them, Miss Harker."

"It's Scarlett," I corrected, not ready to sever my emotional ties with him completely, "It doesn't matter whether we are together or not."

I heard his slight laughter, sounding like a sharp exhale through a small smile.

"Scarlett." He climbed into my cage, sliding down the stained wall and sitting on the floor, sending the bowl full of cold porridge overboard. I laughed awkwardly along with him, wondering why he wasn't leaving.

"Miss-…Scarlett," he looked up at me tearstained face with some strange expression on his face. Guilt? A change of heart?

Yeah, right.

"Yes," I encouraged him to finish his sentence.

"You must understand, I care about you very much."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do," he retorted, becoming slightly impatient.

"If you did, you'd say you cared _for_ me, not _about _me."

I knew I was just finding ways to make him leave, ways to make the pain seem less necessary. I couldn't help it.

"That makes no difference, you are making excuses."

"I am not."

"This is proof! Scarlett, the way you are handling this shows how young you are…you need to mature."

"Are you saying that in a few years you'd have me back?"

"Scarlett, in a few years you'll have forgotten all about me. You will be home and away from here."

"How do you know!? For your information, this ship is more of a home than anywhere else I've been! You're here!"

I winced at how immature I sounded. It was his damn fault! He wouldn't stop saying my name, making me swoon over and over.

"You act as though you want to stay here," he said incredulously.

"I do! You're here."

"Which is exactly why you shouldn't stay. You acted as though you understood this last night!"

"I did! Now I don't want to understand! I-"

"Don't you dare say it." he warned.

"_I love you!_" I yelled it out, hoping the volume would make him feel the same. But he didn't. He stood and climbed down from my cage. My breaths came in time with his footsteps until I couldn't hear them anymore.

I chose that moment to let out a string of curses that no rich, immature girl would ever dare to utter.

Then I broke down in a fresh wave of tears, feeling every inch the child I'd always been.

„Sleep, baby, sleep.

I'll give to you a sheep.

And it shall have a bell of gold

For you to play with and to hold.

Sleep, baby, sleep."

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End.

It's really short I know, but I think the story needs an emotional filler. Ciao!


	25. Reunited

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 20: Reunited

Ugh I have a full, and I mean FULL schedule. I'm gonna have to update less for a few months, but don't worry, the updates WILL COME. No lie.

SliverofExistence: Don't worry, they'll realize they're made for each other _sometime_…

Jordan-Troy Bolton: I'm glad you're taking an interest in my other stories! kthx!

Aljinon: Luckily for you, end does _not_ mean the end of the story, but that _would_ seem kind of obvious as you have the latest chapter right in front of you.

SylphJr: Oh my gorsh I LOVE brownie-flavored cookie dough! So now I love YOU! And I know, I totally thought that my early Englehorn was like that dude from RE2 too! Also, I didn't really feel like leaving Englehorn to be a baby on the Venture so I made him go with the crew. My world is like playing with dolls…but the dolls are like, fighting a stuffed monkey and Barney® and some gummy worms.

Marinawings: You are honestly my most loyal reviewer and reader. I dub thee best friend on fanfiction. Except, you know, I have no idea who you are in real life…oh well.

Just a little advert for you guys: I've published a new C2 and anyone who wants in can message me for an invitation. Basically what I do is find stories that need improvement and if the writer wants to improve, they can just ask! Much easier than reviewing someone without knowing whether they'll accept advice, don't ya think? Message if interested!

Alrighty, here's the next installment of Scarlett and Lukas's Adventure in Wonderlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand! –not really-

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"You can't possibly go back there, Captain!"

"I must, and I will," Englehorn shouted impatiently.

The sudden ruckus woke me. Creeping nearer to the door, I listened to hear more.

"It's hopeless, sir! They're dead."

"We don't know that!" The Captain's German accent grew more pronounced the louder he became.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"Baxter. Are you ready to prove your bravery?"

"I was just about to get some breakfast but-"

"You are coming with me to find the others. That is final."

"Englehorn, you can't just-"

"FINAL!"

"What about the girl? What will we do, Captain?"

"You'll watch her, Joseph. Keep her safe and out of trouble, understood?"

"Yessir. But I still think this is a bad idea."

"With all due respect, if your opinion meant anything, you wouldn't be a cabin boy, would ya?" Baxter's voice snickered, contradicting the otherwise serious conversation.

"We leave as soon as we can, Baxter. Gather some able-bodied men, Joseph."

"Yessir." Joseph's footsteps, a heavy footfall and the thud of a wooden cane, grew fainter as he moved away from the door. I leaned against the rough wood, filled with worry for Jack, Ann and everyone else.

And Lukas. He was so important I forgot him.

All of a sudden, I felt the door I was leaning against being pulled back. I slid along with it, my reflexes not keeping up. I fell onto a pair of beat-up boots.

"I thought you would have been listening." A pair of strong seaman's arms dragged me up and set me upright again.

"Are you really going to go back there?"

"I must, Scarlett. They are my crew and passengers. It is-"

"Your duty, by any chance?"

"Yes. Obviously we have been near one another for far too long."

"There _is_ no too long, Lukas."

He let a small, slightly sympathetic smile grace his features, showing creases by his eyes and lips. He tipped his hat and, clearing his throat, left me to lean against the doorframe. I caught my eyes following his behind, my head leaned toward the side.

_Can't remember ever doing looking at him like _that_ before…_

I stopped looking and willed my brain into thinking about my plan of action. I couldn't stay here and wait for them to come back!

I _could_ just dress up as a boy_...no, I would stick out in a smaller group. _

I could follow unseen_…and get eaten by some animal or trip and fall down a bottomless pit?_

I could…I could…dammit.

I was nonplussed. The only other thing I could think of was to seduce Lukas, but I'd tried that before and that really didn't go so well. And besides, if he fell back in love with me, he would be more likely to make me stay behind.

I had to think quickly. I could hear him yelling to the others about lowering the lifeboat. To my chagrin, all I could hear in my head was a chorus of crickets chirping.

Cheep cheep…cheep cheep…cheep cheep…

"Cast off!" The cry resounded in my ears. Running up to the deck, I kept searching for a solution. A splash was heard, and I lost hope. I saw Joseph, the oldest crewman on the ship, hobbling toward me.

"The Captain ordered my to keep you on the ship, miss. I can guess that you want to save your friends, but it's my duty to follow Englehorn's orders."

"Sure. You totally understand." I would've been appalled at my tone, once upon a time, but now I just wanted to get off the Venture and onto the island.

"Now, miss, I think you'd do well to pay heed to the Captain's word. It's for your own safety."

I sighed in defeat and stomped down to the brig. My head hurt from all the attempted thinking. It felt as if a large, slimy thing was clamped onto my head.

Ugh…I need to sleep…

The disappointment of having to stay put threw a blanket of sleep over me, and I felt my knees buckle under me. I fell fast asleep in the middle of the corridor.

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"Scarlett! Scarlett! We're back! Wake up!"

"_Uuuungh…_" I opened my eyes, and instead of bright light forcing me to close them again as I'd expected, a cluster of heads blocked any light there might have been.

I sat up fast as a speeding bullet.

"Jack? Ann? Jimmy?" The three heads nodded enthusiastically, kneeling by me. It was then that I realized that I was in no longer in the corridor, but in what appeared to be Ann's room.

"And Lu-Englehorn? What about him? And Denham? Lumpy? And Hayes?"

Jimmy's eyes clouded when I spoke Hayes's name.

"Oh. Jimmy, I'm so sorry…" I knew Hayes was like a father and an older brother to him. He nodded and faked a smile.

"But your lover-boy's back! Unfortunately, Denham is too…"

"Lumpy's gone too," Jack added lamely. I ignored Jimmy's "lover-boy" comment and looked concernedly over to Ann, who was still in her silky white nightgown. Mind you, it was no longer silky and no longer white, either. Come to think of it, it was barely recognizable as a nightgown, as well.

"Ann," I got all choked up, and before any of us knew it, Ann and I were clutching each other and sobbing uncontrollably.

I spied Jack's eyebrow rising in surprise and bemusement, and I _knew_ that if it wasn't for saving face in front of Jack, Jimmy would have joined in the bittersweet embracing.

"I…I-I thought you w-were deeeeeaaaad!" I wailed.

"I th—thought I _would _be d-dead the whole t-time!" Ann cried.

"I thought women only cried like this in the films," a familiar voice sliced through our tearful greetings.

"Lukas?" I asked, phlegm clogging my throat.

"I would have thought you recognized me, Scarlett. I've been gone for less than a day."

His sarcastic, derogatory humor never sounded more welcome.

I leapt up and hugged him, crying into his chest as if he were dying in my arms. I could practically sense the bemused looks that accompanied the concealed chuckles that my three friends were concealing…badly.

"Scarlett, uh..."

"Come with me. Now," I pulled him outside into the empty corridor, surprised to feel to restraint on his part.

"Lukas, please listen. I-"

"I know what you are going to say. And-"

"You don't feel the same way."

"Of course I don't." I looked away, feeling disappointed tears welling up inside.

"Because you couldn't possibly love me more than I love you."

My eyes snapped back to his, my face slack in complete disbelief.

"Pardon?" Disbelief always brought out the lady in me.

"_Mein Gott, _Scarlett, are you going to make me say it again?"

A silence followed, but strangely, it was not at all awkward. After a moment, I squealed and wrapped my arms around his neck, savoring the feeling of his hands gripping my waist. Our lips met and I instantly felt a bout of déjà vu. I'd played this moment over and over in my mind for days. I pulled back and leaned my forehead against his chest.

"What caused the change of mind?"

"A bug." I was utterly confused.

"Do I remind you of a bug?"

"No, of course not. It sounds ludicrous, I know, but on the island I saw a bug eat a man's head," My nose wrinkled in disgust, "And that man gave up right away. That was Lumpy, and he died, Scarlett."

"Lukas, how does this have anything to do with-"

"He gave up. The bug kept fighting for what it wanted, and if Lumpy just fought a few minutes more, he would have had a chance of surviving. But he didn't and he is gone."

"So if you keep fighting for _us,_ then-"

"We'll survive."

"That is the most elaborate lie I've ever heard in my life, Lukas Englehorn. Speeches like that don't even happen in the _movies._"

"I know. I just needed a better reason than saying 'I felt like it'."

"Why is that so bad? I thought men liked things simple."

"And I thought women _were_ simple. But they are like a autumn leaf, ever-changing and-"

"Oh my God," I snorted, "Just shut up and kiss me,"

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End.

Sweet Davy Jones, it KILLED me to write that bug thing, since I love Lumpy and I HATE those cheesy movie speeches which actually _do _happen in movies. Especially those starring Hugh Grant. Oh my God, I've just realized Englehorn is wayyyy to OOC. Don't kill me! I'll fix it!


	26. Only Fools Rush In

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 21: Only Fools Rush In

Just when you thought it was safe…I'm back. I'll have you know, Aljinon, that I also think that it was all resolved a little too soon. But I was kind of stumped plot-wise, and I think I need to get over the cat-and-mouse bit and into the bit where they're together. For now… (evil laugh)

Elvespiratesandcowboysohmy: I love you and this chapter is dedicated to you!

Everyone else: I know I am being really mean by not addressing all of you separately, but I had a bad day so don't whine about it. Anyways, thanks to all for your support and hits! Love you all!

THIS CHAPTER IS RATED FOR MATURE PEOPLE. IT IS QUITE GRAPHIC, BUT NOT NECESSARILY A LEMON. IF I GET ONE EMAIL ABOUT HOW I RAPED YOUR VIRGIN EYES I WILL NOT HESITATE TO GO ONE BETTER.

Or worse, it depends on who you are and how you like it.

I am very sorry for that remark; I just became friends with the most perverted person on the face of Germany. He says hi.

Aktion!

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"_Only fools rush in"_

_Elvis Presley_

As soon Lukas and I were over our problems, it was pretty much smooth sailing. We cast each other sweet little glances and smiles, he winked at me, I blew him kisses. The whole crew was aware of our little game, but acted as though our relationship was completely unknown to them. Lukas, not being one for public displays of affection, kept our rendezvous to a bare minimum. Far from putting me off, it only caused my desire to build up until we had our daily, not-so-secret meetings in his quarters. Those nights in his room…

…We didn't _do _anything, besides furiously kissing and whispering to one another. He and I both knew I wasn't ready for…that. Even if I was, he was a respectable man and he would refuse to do…it…until we were married.

And we _would_ get married. I was sure of it. Why wouldn't we? We were made for each other. A few years of age and experience weren't too important, right?

Apparently so.

Because after the first week of happy togetherness, I realized that Lukas knew what he was talking about all along. Our conversations were limited to whispering sweet nothings and expressing an unhealthy hatred for Carl. Most of what we did was less talking and more…getting to know each other.

As in kissing and all that.

And it was great for a while, but then he and I found ourselves ignoring each other for the entire day and then letting our sex drives overheat every night in his room. After a while, we got bored.

Sadly, this was only a warning saying "GET OUT, GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE OF FINDING SOMEONE ELSE."

A warning we were too busy moaning and knocking over furniture to hear.

Day nine of our strictly physical relationship brought our real lover's spat. He and I were at separate ends of the ship, him speaking sternly to Jimmy about our new captive, Kong, and me leaning over the railing smiling down at the dolphins leaping alongside the Venture. I was confused about him and I. The last time we'd acknowledged each other's presence was last night in his quarters, but the last time we'd really spoken was two days ago when he gave me the time of day the third time I asked. My former childish beliefs in his ability to read minds were diminished: he obviously had no idea what I was thinking now.

Unless, of course, he was feeling the same way. Did men actually feel things like that? Or could they engage in meaningless rendezvous in their rooms without an actual trace of feeling?

If they could, was Lukas one of those men? He said he loved me, he wanted me back, he kissed back on the island…

Was it a lie? Was he just another Charles or Denham, just another liar and cheat?

Without even considering the possibility of his decency, I began to feel some contempt toward my significant other.

The solution was apparent: all I had to do was do whatever any other woman would do. I would talk.

But to who? Not Lukas, not yet. Ann? She'd tell Jack and I didn't want him to know.

Hmmm…

Hum diddly-umm…

And then I found him. Who was masculine enough to know what men wanted, but feminine enough to understand secrecy and feelings?

Why, Jimmy, of course!

So I headed toward the galley, where he always was at 12:30. I found him reading a book I'd once seen at the library, but never had the guts to borrow. Before I could make out the complete title, he shut the book abruptly and whipped around.

"Scarlett," he said, making to stow the book in his pants, but I stopped him.

"May I?" I asked. He handed it over, and I skimmed the first page.

"Scarlett, what's going on?"

Apparently Lukas had passed the telepath torch to Jimmy.

"Jimmy…"

"Scarlett…"

"Jimmy…"

"Scarlett, I'm serious. "

"Alright," I said, rolling my eyes, "It's…a captain problem."

"The Skipper not…up to speed?" I blushed hard and made to slap his arm. He caught my hand and laughed.

"N-no, Jimmy, I just…we don't really talk. We just…"

"Get up to speed?"

"What is it with you and that phrase today?"

"I don't know, I haven't used it ever before so now I guess I'm trying to get up to speed," he grinned. I rolled my eyes again and continued.

"In answer to your question, yes. Don't laugh! It's very strange…we ignore each other until I meet him in his room and then we act like we talk all the time."

"He's scared," a butch voice said behind me. I turned around and saw…

The meathead of the world himself.

"Bruce, would you care to elaborate?"

"He still thinks you're too young and he doesn't know what to say. You'll go on like this until you get kidnapped by a group of Native Americans. Then he'll have a _lot_ to say."

"What? Bruce, that was the plot of your first movie!"

"Well, besides the kidnapped part then. He feels just as awkward, trust me."

"Alright then, oh all-knowing Bruce, what should I do? Talk to him?"

"No!" Both Jimmy and Bruce said at once. At least they agreed on something.

"You should NEVER start out talking. Entice the man, Harker! Act mature and he'll think you are!"

"HOW?! How, Bruce? How, Jimmy?"

"I'm an actor, I'll teach you. And the kid's a liar, so he'd make a pretty good actor too."

Jimmy half-glared at being called a kid, and half-beamed at being called a liar.

"So how's about it? Every day I'll teach you about being a lady, and one day you'll _be _a lady!"

I honestly had never heard a more stupid idea in my entire life. Except when Carl decided to explore an unknown island crawling with giant insects and lizards and such.

But I accepted anyway, that's how stupid and desperate I was.

Unfortunately, I still had two stupid choices to make that day.

Firstly, even after I found out that I shouldn't talk to Lukas about this (unless I was kidnapped by Native Americans first, of course), I went up to the deck to find him. A part of me still needed to talk to him and see what was truly wrong, despite Bruce's advice.

"Lukas," I said tentatively. He turned around and saw me. Something bright in his eyes flickered.

"Yes, love," he answered. The word 'love' didn't make me any happier, for some reason. It sounded, well, fake.

"Lukas, we're in trouble, aren't we?"

"I have no idea of what you are speaking of," Lukas answered. I rolled my eyes frustratedly.

"Please, Lukas, can we talk?" He ignored my urgent and exasperated hiss, choosing to direct his attention to the steadily darkening sky.

"It's getting late. Why don't we discuss all this in my quarters?"

"In your quarters?! Lukas you _know_ what we'll be doing in your quarters," I said this a little too loud, earning a chuckle from one or two of the crew, including Jimmy. Bruce was behind him, making absurd motions to get me to stop talking to him like he had said.

"My dear, _that_ is not the only thing we do."

"_Yes it is!_" I scream-whispered, "That is _all_ we do. We haven't talked in about two days, have you realized that?"

"My lovely-"

"And I _have_ a name, Lukas."

"My lovely, what has got you so upset?" I was so incensed at the time that I grabbed hold of his suspenders and dragged him down to his quarters. The sound of Jimmy's piercing wolf-whistle followed us.

We arrived in his room, the only place in which we could talk privately. His chest, the one I usually swooned over when I wasn't bothered by our relationship troubles, was heaving from the running pace I had taken up on the way. I am sure my own chest, completely un-swoon-worthy, was heaving the same way.

"Mein Gott, du bist schön," he muttered, stepping toward me. I knew his game by then, and stepped away.

"Lukas I beg you, listen to me. Why don't we talk? You say you love me, but is your love just lust?"

"No, _liebchen_," he breathed, making a move to grab my waist. I slapped his hands away with a hurt look on my face. Why was he acting so pigheaded?

"Lukas what is wrong with you? What happened to you? Now that you have me, is _this_ all you think about?" I gestured toward my body. He looked me up and down, and for a moment I thought he was actually going to say yes, he was.

But I was surprised. Lukas's shoulders fell and he slumped into a chair pushed under his desk. His back was turned to me, his head was in his hands. I went to put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off as soon as I made contact.

"I am sorry, my dear," he sounded older, weary. My eyebrows creased with worry, and all the anger and frustration I felt were forgotten.

"I'm sorry too," I said softly, "I just want to know why, _why _do we not talk?"

"It is because," he stood up and faced me, leaving me in the shadow of his broad chest, "I don't…I don't know what to say."

So the action-lug _was_ right.

"I _do_," I answered. I tipped my head up and, knowing this was the wrong thing to do entirely, pressed my lips onto his.

Almost immediately, I was sitting on his desk and he was standing between my bent knees, holding my waist and kissing my issues away. What was I worrying about anyway?

All I could think of were his hands gripping the fabric of my blouse and his lips imprinting their heat and tenderness on my own. His light dusting of a beard brushed my face and left a tingling in my skin which I savored. My hands slid down from his knotted hair to his soft neck to his wide shoulders to his hard chest where they stayed, massaging and creating bumps and strains in his shirt. When our lips parted, his strayed to my jawline and mine quickly found his neck. As I nibbled the tanned skin there, I inhaled the scent of low-grade cotton and cigarette smoke and salt. There was something else, too, like a melting pot of cumin and cinnamon and sweetness.

I wish I smelled like that.

After a few minutes, he picked me up and allowed me to wrap my legs around his waist. We continued to kiss fiercely as he brought us both to his bed, finally dropping to the cool sheets and springy mattress. The pair of us didn't miss a beat; we opened our lips and let our tongues collide, eliciting a guttural moan from my throat. His own pleasure was silent, confined to small smirks against my lips and a slight bucking of his hips. I felt his…first mate…on my leg for the briefest of moments, and I made a choice.

His lips were wrenched from mine as I made a grab for his belt.

"Love-"

"I'm ready." I fumbled with the belt for a moment, then proceeded to remove his trousers. His own hands were taking turns kneading my almost nonexistent breasts and unbuttoning my blouse with a shaking urgency. Before long, we lay naked in his bed, his sweating and focused face a breath away from my own.

"Darling," he said in a small voice full of longing. I was prepared to convince him that I was ready, to tell him that I loved him and I wanted to make him happy…

"My shoes," he looked down to the only covered part of his body: his feet. He seemed to want me to help take them off.

"Uh, sure," I said, slightly disappointed at the absence of concern for my virginity, but no matter. I pulled the shoes from his feet and settled back into his strong arms. I bit my lip, watching his hips lower ever so slowly and enticingly toward mine. My lip was bleeding by the time I felt him in me, sliding slowly down…down…down…

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I thought deeply as we lay in his tousled sheets, bathed in sweat, calmed somewhat by his soft and steady breathing. After the wave of passion and pleasure was dragged back to sea, I found myself feeling as though we were still arguing. Expecting the man to which I gave my virginity to be completely indifferent in the morning felt strange, and not in the way I'd felt before.

No, that strange was very, very good.

The feeling of my first time was addicting; the euphoria surging through my veins as we rocked against each other, the rush as the sound of Lukas grunting my name along with various other not-exactly-sweet nothings reached my ears, the pure and forbidden bliss of climax, screaming and shaking and collapsing onto his chest.

_Very_ good.

But as I lay with my hand on his chest and my hair splayed over his stomach, watching as the beautiful man I loved took breath after breath, I felt like I'd fallen into a trap.

Would this change anything? I doubted it. A new feeling surged through my veins as I thought of how this would be how it would be forever: silence and sex, silence and sex.

I couldn't call it making love anymore. It to us was as incongruous as he and I.

I gathered a sheet around my body and gently rose from his bed, then crept as silently as we had been in the afternoon to the door. As I twisted the brass doorknob, I looked back. He was not sleeping anymore.

"Scarlett," he yawned hugely, looking dashing as he always did. I saw red, I really did. How dare he say my name? How dare he act like it was alright when it so obviously wasn't?!

"So now I have a name? No 'love'? No 'darling'? No '_liebchen_'?" I knew I was treading into dangerous ground; the captain was tired and confused enough already.

"Scarlett, I thought we solved this," he replied patiently, despite his weariness and befuzzlement.

"By _doing it_?" I asked incredulously, "We solved nothing! Don't pretend you plan to actually talk to me in the morning!"

Lukas was officially vexed. He stood from the bed without even bothering to cover himself. I was too angry to be distracted, however.

"Scarlett, I am sorry I have not spoken with you for so long," he growled, "but this behavior is uncalled for!"

"Stop it! Stop treating me like a child! You toss me around like this all the time! First you're holding my hand and making me feel like a five-year-old, and then we're _doing it_!"

"If you are still immature enough to refer to sex as "doing it", then _yes_! You are a child!" His voice was competing with mine for higher decibels reached, and he was winning so far. I was stunned into silence.

"Alright then," I straightened from my aggressive stance, "I will be in my cage. But I have to say, this whole ship is a cage if I cannot get away from you."

And with that, I swept out of the room, not even tripping over my sheet as I walked.

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End.

That was a little more graphic than I anticipated, but I just got so caught up in Lukas and his…first mate…I seriously can't stop laughing at that.

Review for this one, I wanna see if this is as good as I thought it would be.

Mein Gott, du bist schön: My God, you are beautiful


	27. Don't Speak

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 22: Don't Speak

Okay, I am SO sorry to all you people, I've just been stupid and lazy and PLEASE PLEASE don't kill me. Because if you kill me, you'll have to wait even longer for a chapter. Like forever.

Anyways, don't want to keep you waiting a second more, so AKTION!

The tears had dried into stiff and shining lines down my face by the time I fell asleep. The smell of straw in my old cage brought a sense of home and a sense of revulsion at the same time. The incessant pounding in my head wouldn't stop, not even in my dreams. It was like the issue was forcing me to suffer for repressing it.

Whatever, issue. Just shut up and leave me alone with my straw.

Insane as it sounded, I missed when he was annoying. I missed patronizing, high-and-mighty Lukas. I missed talking to Jack and Ann at night when I was mad or hurt. Jack didn't sleep in the brig anymore. He stayed with Ann in her cabin.

Damn him. Damn him to heck!

I punched the straw I was using as a pillow, and got a mouthful of dust and little scraps of who-knows-what. Everything was so complicated! Why was I even bothering?

God knows _he's_ not! He doesn't even…care…doesn't even…

I was sobbing again. I didn't care who heard, I wanted someone to come in there and see me. I wanted some attention, for Chrissake! I thought about how it would be if Lukas found me and brushed my tears away and kissed me back to happiness, but that just made me cry even harder. My conscience was telling me to think about what Jimmy and Bruce had said; to try and grow up.

A roar silenced me for a moment. The beast was in a cage behind me, rattling the bars and growling.

"I don't care what you think, ape. You haven't loved anyone. You don't know what it's like to be seen as a child by EVERYONE!!!"

Great. I was roaring, too.

The beast rocked the ground for a few moments, and then roared again. It sounded…sad. But it was a giant monkey, how could an animal be _sad_? I climbed out of my cage and found its cage. It _looked_ sad. Heartbroken, even. But who cared? Like I said, it was an animal.

I spent an hour talking to it. Just talking, about Lukas and Jimmy and Ann and Jack. Mostly Lukas, though. Soon I was crying. Then I was laughing. I looked up and the beast was looking straight into my eyes, as if to say, "I know". I shook my head fiercely and stood.

"I…need to go. I need to…see someone. Oh, what do you care, ape? I'm leaving and I shouldn't have to tell you about it," I began talking to myself after that, "Ugh, I look horrible, I bet you I do."

Before I turned to find a bathroom to wash up in, I saw the beast thump his chest gently with a fist, trying to convey some sort of message, perhaps. He did it a few times, each time growing more insistent, but then he gave up. _I_ gave up on trying to understand him, and walked away.

Not even ten steps away from the brig, I bumped into Bruce.

"Romance troubles?"

"I don't think you should be asking, Baxter," I growled, trying to stop the tears from rising up again.

"I don't think _you_ should be hiding it, _Harker_," he retorted, "You should take up my offer…"

"What offer is that, Baxter? Scarlett?" I turned and there was Lukas. I was confused to why his expression was so livid, but then I heard it in my head like he must have heard it.

"Not- oh, Lukas, not _that_ kind of offer! He was just going t-" But before I could finish, he'd stormed off down the hallway, shoving Bruce out of the way as he went. I let out and angry scream-sigh, and Bruce leaned against the wall.

"How 'bout now?"

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"Always look up at him through your eyelashes. It happens in every script I've ever read, and I always end up with the girl. _Always._"

"Oh my gosh, you're worse than my mother..." I said, horrified.

"I think you're mistake is that you're not thinking of what he wants," Jimmy said after rolling his eyes at Bruce's suggestion.

_That's because he's made what he wants all too clear, _I thought.

"You might want to talk all the time, but the truth is men aren't really big on talking."

"So I should keep the banter limited?" My new instructors nodded, relieved that I was finally getting it.

"Exactly," Jimmy said. Bruce checked the time.

"Alright kids, Carl asked me to meet him about now, so I gotta go."

"Thanks for this, Bruce," I couldn't believe I was thanking him after how pompous he'd been in the beginning of this whirlwind adventure, but I realized he was a lot of help.

"Scarlett, how's about you try out our tips?"

"Right now?"

And before I could argue I was at Lukas's side. Before I could open my mouth, I remembered how angry he was at Bruce and me last night. How could I even face him? With an enthusiastic pushing gesture from Jimmy, I gathered up all my courage.

"Lukas, I know you're angry, but what happened last night with Bruce was a complete misunderstanding," I couldn't tell him that Bruce was helping me deal with him, so I lied," His offer was to help me move out of my mother's house."

Lukas looked down at the rail he was leaning on.

"I couldn't have helped?" I bit my lip, worried that I may have hurt him even more.

"Er, my mother…I'm not ready for you two to meet yet. I've told you about my mother, she wouldn't take well to us together."

He nodded, and I breathed again. From the look on his face, I could see that he understood.

"You'll have to tell her sometime, my love," I was glad to hear him call me one of his pet names again.

"I…I know. But you understand about the Bruce thing?"

"Yes. I do," he looked at me and then lowered his gaze back to the wooden railing, "I love you, Scarlett."

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and rested my neck on his back, not saying anything but, "I love you, too."

END.

Sorry that it's so short, but I'm pretty sure that I can get another chapter out soon.


	28. The Ending

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Chapter 23: The Ending

Yeah, it's over. Thanks to all my fans for the reviews and hits and, basically, all the support. I'm not being conceited, but I know I'm gonna get a lot of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and "You HAVE to write a sequel" reviews, whether all of you mean it or not. I have to end it, there's really no room for development and my interest in the story is decreasing. If I continue to write, it'll ruin it. Also, I CHALLENGE ANYONE TO WRITE A SEQUEL WHERE SCARLETT TAKES LUKAS TO MEET HER MOM AND CHARLES. I would _so _like to see Scarlett written by one of you guys. Alright, time for the end…(sniff)

Marinawings: Thank you thank you thank you for having a look at this chapter, who cares if it didn't work, I love you anyways. I'm looking forward to that review…

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We arrived in the New York harbor just after sunrise. Lukas and I had watched the sun peek over the horizon, throwing off its gold and purple sheets of cloud.

"I-"

"Shh," he said, not wanting to break the majesty of the moment. I smiled apologetically, reminding myself of Bruce and Jimmy's advice. _Speak of the devil…s._ The two mentors were leaning against the railing opposite, whispering about Lukas and me. I cocked one eyebrow, something I had learned from the man holding me close at that moment, with my back to his chest. I leaned my head back onto his shoulder, counting his heartbeats as I watched the sun wake.

Six hours later, we were lowering anchor along the salt-crusted dock of my hometown. I could smell factory smoke and hear the crowds already. I took a deep breath from where I stood. My hometown. It wasn't until I was there when I realized how much I had missed it and everything I had there.

_Mother…_would I go see her? Would I tell her about Lukas?

"Not yet," I muttered to myself.

"Not yet what?" I turned to see Jack and Ann, hand in hand. Suddenly I felt all my relief and excitement drain away.

"Ann…Jack…I-" but I couldn't finish before Ann captured me in a strong and sad hug. My shirt sleeve was slowly getting damp, and so were my cheeks. I held on fiercely, letting a sob tear through my throat. I looked up and saw that Jack, dry-eyed but still sad. Ann let go and I walked up the first friend I had had on the Venture.

"I'll see you again," he whispered as he wiped the tears from my face, "I promise. And guess what?"

"What?" I whispered back. Only then did I notice his hands gripping my arms.

"Ann and I might have someone else for you to see when we meet again." I thought for a moment about what that could mean while watching the smile on his face grow wider.

"Oh my God. Jack!" I cried, launching myself into his arms, "Is she-"

"We don't know for absolutely sure, but she was sick this morning and it wasn't seasickness."

I never thought that hearing about Ann being sick would be such great news.

I let go of him, looking back at a beaming Ann. She nodded absently, as though she was convincing herself not to suffocate me again. I was somewhat glad.

"Mr. Driscoll. Miss Darrow," said a very familiar, accented voice. Lukas was standing behind me, looking at the couple with a certain amount of apology and kindness.

"I hope that when we meet again, it will not be under such dangerous and forced circumstances as this." Jack reached out a hand to shake, and Ann smiled appreciatively at the captain.

"Captain, I want to thank you for all you've done on my behalf. Without you I would surely be dead." Lukas inclined his head and gripped my left shoulder consolingly, his thumb stroking my neck ever so slightly. I felt more tears well up as they finally smiled one last time and walked down the gangplank onto dry land.

"Apparently, our friends Denham and Baxter have found a way to slip off without saying goodbye," Lukas whispered in my ear.

"Are you still going to give Denham the ape?"

"I'm going to have to, aren't I?" His lips were pursed and his eyebrows knitted together so that he closely resembled a hawk. I kissed away his troubled expression, replacing it with a mask of hesitance and question.

"What is it?" I asked. His eyes searched mine, as though he was trying to read my mind.

It's a sign of my maturity that I didn't yell, "Telepath!"

It really is.

"We never really talked about…us…after we got back. Will you go back to your mother? Or stay with me?"

I thought for a moment. If my mother found out that I was back too soon, she would keep me in that penthouse forever. I winced with the notion of endless wands of eyeliner poking my eye.

"I was going to stay with you, but seeing as you _obviously_ want me to go back, I'll just…" I made to walk down the gangplank, but a hand grabbed hold of my own.

"If you leave now, I'll be back to readin' in the crow's nest for the rest of my life. Not to mention I'll have no back-up if I ever get in trouble with your boyfriend." I laughed, turning to face Jimmy. The hand that was not gripping my arm was deep in his pocket. I looked to Lukas, whose shocked expression at my joking decision to leave was slowly melting into amusement.

"I'm off to…pick up a few things before our next voyage. I didn't know if you were leavin' or stayin', so I wanted to give you this." I looked at him questioningly as he pulled a beaten-up book out of the back of his pants.

"Jimmy! Thank you," I squealed as I took the book from him. I chose to ignore the fact that not too long ago it was very, very close to his drawers.

If he was wearing any. I once heard that some sailors didn't wear underwear because they couldn't afford it.

Wow. _That _wasn't mentally scarring at all…

Shaking my head to rid myself of the damage my brain had sustained, I pulled him into a hug.

"I'm staying." I said into his shoulder. I felt him smile into my hair.

"Well, I'll see you later." he said to me before he turned to Lukas, "I'll be back before sundown, el Capitan."

After smirking insanely at my embarrassed and shocked expression he saluted, leaving the ship to "pick up" something else to read, perhaps.

"So you'll be staying with me," Lukas smiled almost victoriously, making me laugh. Thank God the el Capitan comment went unheard.

"Yes," I cried, as I rose up on my tiptoes to place my lips on his, "Does…that…make you…happy?"

As I spoke in between kisses, his arms encircled my waist.

"Very," he breathed as he nibbled my lower lip slightly. As soon as his hand reached up to play with my hair, I broke away to nuzzle it. Remembering what Bruce had told me not too long ago, I looked up at Lukas through my eyelashes.

As I stood there, watching my Lukas smiling down at me and probably looking like a total nimbus (I still hadn't got used to the muscle strain which went with seeing through my lashes, and so my eyes tended to twitch disturbingly), I remembered where we had sailed from. I remembered how many people's were scarred and even lost, how much I'd learned from some of them. How much I'd learned from Lukas himself.

_I should probably cry right about now,_ I thought as I watched Lukas's face slowly lower down to mine.

The tears could wait.

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THE END

I tried to make the end long and funny and bittersweet, but if I tried any harder it would have turned into an epic novel with lame jokes and a strong emo vein. I'm retarded like that. I _will_ write a behind the scenes segment chapter again, now that I have more time. I love you all, and someone PLEASE message me about that sequel challenge.

Wahhhh Tchaa!

Ninja Stealth Noise


	29. Behind The Scenes 2

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

Behind-the-Scenes 2

You guys, I really wanted to see someone take up my challenge! Would someone please message me about it if you're interested, it would be so great! Anyways, I promised another behind-the-scenes look at the characters, so here ya go!

(fade out and in again on Scarlett and Lukas)

Lukas: Thank God that it's over…

Scarlett: What, you didn't enjoy it? I thought it was kind of fun!

Lukas: I love you, but sometimes you confuse me.

Scarlett: (beams)

Lukas: It was just…after a while everyone got a bit tired of one another…

(fade to set of Venture kitchen with Jimmy, Scarlett, Lumpy and Choy)

Jimmy: Hey Scarlett…

Scarlett: (fixing hair while waiting anxiously for Lukas) What?

Jimmy: Look at this… (flicks a spoonful of porridge at her hair)

Scarlett: Wha-HEY! Jimmy, what the hell!

Lumpy: (collapses into laughter) My cooking never looked so good! (wheezes)

(Scarlett takes her bowl and flings it at Jimmy, only to miss abysmally and hit Choy)

Choy: (curses in loud Chinese and runs into a wall hung with pots and pans)

Jimmy: (yelling over kitchenware clatter and Lumpy's angry yells) Nice one!

Scarlett: You come here, you- (chases Jimmy out of the room, but stops as Englehorn enters and gets in her way)

Lukas: Interesting choice of accessory…

Scarlett: What? Lukie, that's not your line!

Lukas: I know.

Scarlett: Huh? Ugh! You are so-!

(Lukas picks up a pan and hides behind it with a sarcastic look on his face)

(fades to Jimmy and Bruce)

Jimmy: I hate you…

Bruce: I…no you don't.

Jimmy: What? Yes I do!

Bruce: No you don't!

Jimmy: Yes I do!

Bruce: Yes you do!

Jimmy: No I don't! Wait…DAMMIT!

(fades to King Kong in the cage with Scarlett looking at him)

Kong: (still beating on his chest insistently)

Scarlett: …

Kong: (beats a little harder)

Scarlett: uh… (looks around)

Kong: (starts beating himself so hard that he begins to grunt)

Scarlett: Oh my gosh, is he choking?!

(fades to Ann and Jack)

Cameraman: Why aren't you two snogging?

Ann: We aren't speaking.

Jack: Well, last time I checked snogging didn't require speaking…

Ann: What?! Jack I'm serious!

Jack: Aha, got you to talk to me.

Ann: Ha-ha, I love you.

Jack: Aha, got you to say you love me.

(Ann and Jack snog)

Cameraman: (turns camera away) Finally, because if you two aren't snogging, then there is something wrong with the world.

(fades to Kong and Scarlett in the brig)

Kong: (beats insistently on his chest)

Scarlett: Okay, okay I know this…one word…fist beating chest…TARZAN!

(Kong actually looks suicidal)

Scarlett: WHAT THEN!

(fades to Ninja Stealth Noise)

Ninja: It's finally over! I was beginning to hate Scarlett a little…

(fades to Scarlett and Ninja in the forest)

Ninja: You are such a girl!

Scarlett: Compared to you, I'm the girliest, laciest doily-chick on the planet!

Ninja: Are you calling me a man?

Scarlett: Stand next to Lumpy and I wouldn't be able to tell you apart!

Ninja: Hey! At least make me a hot guy like… (pales at Scarlett's jealous glare)

Scarlett: Like who?

Ninja: (gathers courage) Like Englehorn. There, I said it.

Scarlett: (battle cry) HOW DARE, YOU HE'S MINE!

Ninja: (takes out portable keyboard and hits the backspace button)

Scarlett: (stops and looks confusedly at Ninja)

Ninja: I was hoping that since I wrote you, your arm would drop off or something…

Scarlett: (jumps at Ninja and pummels her into the ground behind some bushes)

(fades to Lukas who is watching the scene)

Lukas: I never taught her that…Jimmy!

(fades to Skinner from 'She's the Blade' and Carl Denham)

Denham: I think I had the right to film everything. It's my life, and I need to enjoy it! With money! That I get from films!

Skinner: 'e's not wrong.

(fades to Kong and Scarlett in the brig once again)

Scarlett: Is it me, or does that beating sound like the intro to "We Will Rock You" after a while?

(fades to entire crew)

Crew: BYE!

Ann and Scarlett: FOREVER!

Ninja: UNLESS SOMEONE WRITES A DAMN SEQUEL!

Lukas: Auf Wiedersehen!

(entire crew looks at Lukas)

Bruce: Show-off.

(fades to Scarlett and Kong, still in the brig)

Scarlett: (looks up at Kong from her seat on the floor) And that's why I can never go to SeaWorld™ again.

Kong: (beating of chest begins to resemble involuntary, seizure-like movements)

Scarlett: Aw, screw it. I love you, man.

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End.

How was that for one last hurrah? I rather liked the running gag with Scarlett and Kong.


	30. Sequel Update

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies

I'd like to thank Hurley's Belial for taking up my challenge!

If anyone wanted to do the sequel, I know a couple people said that they might if they had time: I guess it was first come, first serve. But now you guys can sit back and enjoy the sequel!

Good luck, Hurley's Belial!


	31. CONTEST

CONTEST!!!

Hello my loves!!! Just felt it necessary to finally tell you that a sequel is back on demand!

I know Shuriko had offered to write a sequel, and I'm sorry that one was already being written. BUT now the author of the sequel has informed me that she can't go on with it anymore, which I completely sympathise with.

Back to this contest notion: anyone interested in writing one (I can't imagine there being too many of you) can message a short introduction to me. This piece must prove that you a) are familiar and will stay true to the characterization, b) have a good plot in mind and c) have basic writing talent.

I don't really know if ANYONE at all will try, but please if you have doubts, try anyway.

Wahhh Tchaaaa!

Ninja Stealth Noise


End file.
